Murphy S. Paw, attorney at law

They'll learn to fear themselves

I was on pinc and needles wondering if your dignity would survive... What a twist ending

Positivity win!

Español let's fucking VAMOS!!!!

Probably aliens, yeah sounds like alien activity

They weren't good men, everyone in the Revolution was a killer and a monster, but some monsters loved the country, hated the rich and wouldn't have been followed by presidents who just wanted to get money and kiss the US's ass. We were close to communism

And that's what I celebrate on November 20th

It was a peaceful choice, moral even. They had the numbers but didn't have the foolishness to think they could rule a country just cause they were good at war. And that kinda makes me weep sometimes. We were close to a very different version of history but two men hoped someone better would show up.

A journalist who followed Villa's army reported that neither him nor Zapata actually wanted to be president, they had the sense to know the real president should be "an academic with the right ideas" so instead of taking the capital (which would require a lot of executions) they opted to leave.

There's a wonderful picture of both Villa and Zapata inside the National Palace (our while house) with both their armies. They take seats in some chairs and smile for the camera, there's a child who snuck into the frame and also a dog. They are both laughing like the mere concept is silly...

The party would then rule for 70+ years (often times by elections having only one candidate), Zapata was beheaded in his home by the state (at the order of a US general) and everyone else had a similarly tragic death.
But I like to celebrate the communist hope that so many held on to for so long.

It didn't resolve by good guys winning, it resolved by bad guys rebranding. They signed a thing called "The Ayala Plan" which technically gave workers more ownership (but was easy to bypass) and founded the Revolutionary Party which was just Diaz's system but sneakier and without a clear 'emperor'

It was a sad and chaotic time. Families displaced, towns erraticated, rich fuckers taking advantage of both sides, Zapata speaking people into the rightful cause of worker's liberation, Villa hilariously conning the US as his personal piggy bank (we stan), and the government being shamelessly evil

With Diaz gone, any sense of decorum in the capital left with him and far crueler military men came out of the woodworks to take his place. This emboldened the worker's movements lead by the poor but devastated everything inbetween.
People joined "troops" for no reason other than to loot other towns

See, Diaz wasn't dumb. He knew how unhappy the country was with him, how clever his enemies were and how fragile his regime actually was, so he did something more evil: he left. Motherfucker just went to France forever.

The power vacuum he left was so intense the country was at war for 10 years.

But since it's against the constitution to incarcerate a political rival, it's the spark every bubbling movement needed to finally take arms against Diaz.
Sadly, this is where it gets confusing.

Children get taught that the Revolution happened to overtake Porfirio Diaz, but... that's just a lie.

What's funny is he didn't actually need to do that. While mexicans DID want Madero to be president, they didn't know how to do that. Information about how to vote was very much "only the rich must know" so Madero would've lost anyway.
Had Diaz not jailed him he would've stayed in power far longer.

Francisco I. Madero is a young politician and military general who lost an arm in the war. He was reportedly very charming and not at all willing to bend the knee to Diaz. He campaigns in every state and gets people everywhere excited for him.

Fearing Madero might win, Diaz puts him in jail.

The capital is an imperialistic utopia. Under threat of disappearance and torture, the railroad, the best infrastructure and all monuments get built. There ARE elections, they just don't matter; it's one Diaz-picked candidate and everyone else is (understandibly) too scared to run. In comes Madero.

In that unease, with only the landowners thriving while everyone else worked for them and starved, the words "the land belongs to who works it" slowly sprout two separate worker's movements, eventually lead by Emiliano Zapata (in the south) and Francisco Villa (in the north) but not quite yet.

All the while, Mexico's centralist government (that means one that favors the capital and not much else) had created gaps of unlivable poverty at the north and south of the country, both places had been the theater of war in the past, were never properly rebuilt and the capital just ignored them

In comes general Porfirio Diaz, a France-loving military totalitarian with juuust enough chill to act like he was pro democracy. He was president but then very clearly called the shots for everyone that came after him and wanted to be named emperor (a shockingly common thing for rulers here)

After the first century of the country spent fighting off reconquests, the US and ourselves over what the goverment should look like (with conservatives wanting to reinstante a European monarchy for "guysss being opressed by white foreigners was way better owo" reasons) we got our shit half-together

1. This is NOT when Mexico became independent from Spain, that is celebrated September 15th and "happened" on 1810. The revolution was 1910

2. It's debatable when any of the two started. They were the overlap of a lot of foggy disperate uprisings. National story put em neatly separated by a century

So just cause I'm posting something about it later in the month: It's time for a lil history lesson from actually mexican chimera Murphy!
I simply love my country and the ironic telenovela-esque nature of its horrors

November 20th is Mexican Revolution Day!!

🧵

You know all about strong pulls

Happy birthday, buddy!

Clever is overrated, wedgie time ;)

How mean would it be if I gave you a purple nurple through those legholes?

The eternal struggle...

Respectfully, bite bite bite bite bite bite bite bite bite bite