Jacob Bacharach

Driver, Where You Takin Us? This is not your mother or your grandmother’sNarnia. Wardrobe? Given over to Marantz.White witches? Joplins. Fauns all Robert Plants.Every moon dark-sided, every brick another’swall; sweet Lucy, Su…

jacobbacharach.com/2025/12/05/d...

I wrote a sonnet about Greta Gerwig's Narnia.

I want to replace my hybrid car with a full electric and every part of my auto-evaluating brain says "Hyundai Ioniq 5" except for a devilish little aesthete and prophet deep in my soul that looks at the deliberate retro styling and whispers, "Remember the PT Cruiser."

An interesting example of the style of design I refer to as "cocaine vernacular."

We're gonna need a bigger bathtub.

If I had any doubts about moving to Carolina, my fish gal getting me fresh mullet roe to make bottarga satisfied them.

Christmas cactus is going wild.

Genuinely the Most Western Pennsylvanian thing I've ever seen.

Pittsburgh suburbs really serving up some Italian excellence today.

Obsessed with many things about this listing, but the matching custom cornices on the study window and as a bath-curtain accessory is, as they say, "sending me."

Yes. Cloudflare is down.

Looks like they broke the internet again!

my Passion,,,, is for textures

Sunday.

Hello, beautiful

How Much Worse Could the Internet Get? Cory Doctorow’s “Enshittification” is premised on the idea that we created a technological marvel and then corporate greed ruined it. But what if that is not the case?

"What if none of this was a good idea to begin with?"

I reviewed Enshittification, and the internet, for @newrepublic.com

newrepublic.com/article/2027...

How this major city became one of America’s most affordable for homebuyers While there are many yardsticks for calculating housing affordability, the western Pennsylvania city stands out as uniquely livable.

Still the best, and only, American city.
www.washingtonpost.com/business/202...

Finnegans Take My kid is having anxiety that mandami won.He fears the stars will fall and blot the sunwith steamed-up oceans cooking everyone;he cries, like dying Jesus: Dad, it’s done!and is likewise unanswered;…

jacobbacharach.com/2025/11/05/f...

I wrote a sonnet about scaring my kid about Zohran Mamdani:

Embrace Huáxià

They're calling it America's most harmonious facade.

Thrown When I first learned a toilet like that existedinside the White House, I was horrified.I took to bed, shut off the lights, and cried.Brave men who Hancocked history resistedtyranny for this? What s…

jacobbacharach.com/2025/11/01/t...

I wrote a sonnet about a toilet in the White House.

Such people there are living and flourishing in the world—Faithless, Hopeless, Charityless: let us have at them, dear friends, with might and main. Some there are, and very successful too, mere quacks and fools: and it was to combat and expose such as those, no doubt, that Laughter was made.

Oh. Oh, no.

The thing about great design is, you have to urn it.

Yes.

Few are brave enough to say so, but Tom Cruise did some really excellent physical comedy and slapstick work in The Mummy.