@jokesoftheday.bsky.social
Jokes of the day
I heard Dracula has started selling NSFW content...
He's started an OnlyFangs.
🧛🏻🧛🏻🧛🏻🧛🏻🧛🏻
Why was Dracula a bad CEO?
He was always avoiding the stakeholders.
🧛🏻🧛🏻🧛🏻🧛🏻🧛🏻
3 vampires are having a competition to prove who's the most vicious vampire amongst them.
The strongest one ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Bloody-...
My wife and her sister fell out on a holiday trip…
The rest of the balloon flight was, however, peaceful!
My friend asked me if I was ready to go to n*dist party
I said, "I was born ready"
A coma in a sentence can make a huge difference For instance,
“Let’s ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Six-Sid...
International Dance Day Jokes
How many dance teachers does it take to change a light bulb?
5678
Why do dancers say 5, 6, 7, 8?
Because the musicians already took 1, 2, 3, 4.
I started taking salsa dancing lessons but just don’t feel like I’m progressing... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Interna...
New Beer’s Eve Jokes
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains
that could have become beer but didn't.
How can you show that you're planning for the future?
Buy 2 cases of beer instead of 1.
Why does Corona go through your system so fast? ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-New-Bee...
🥕 Carrot Day Jokes
Why do sailors eat so many carrots?
It helps them sea better!
Why was the programmer eating carrots?
So that they could C#!
How do carrots pay their bills?
With celery.
Why did the carrot go to therapy?...
jokesoftheday.net/joke--Carrot...
Peanut Butter and Jelly Day Jokes
Why did the peanut butter break up with the jelly?
Because it felt smothered!
What’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’s favorite type of music?
Smooth jams.
Why did the PB&J go to therapy? ...
Read more on page: jokesoftheday.net/joke-Peanut-...
Sadly my obese parrot just died.
But it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
As I was sitting drinking my morning cup of tea in my slippers, I thought to myself...
I really must wash ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Great-s...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
What did one nut say to the nut it was chasing?
"I'm a cashew!"
Why did the nut go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that sneezes?
A cashew!
How do you make a ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Nut-Jok...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #NationaNutDay
I like my coffee like “I like my coffee” jokes.
Not made by me.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged!
What do you call sad coffee ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Coffee-...
#InternationalCoffeeDay #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
What’s way worse than Friday the 13th?
Monday the whatever.
Why is Friday the thirteenth one of the worst days to get arrested on?
Because the judge will only be in on Monday.
What day do eggs hate most... jokesoftheday.net/joke-22-Frid...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #friday13th
I had a joke about Labor Day...
unfortunately it didn’t work out
Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?
It really doesn’t work for me.
What’s a laborer’s favorite exercise?
“Work-outs!”
Why do locksmiths work on Labor Day? ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Some-sh...
Me: You know, since it doesn't have a tail, I'm pretty sure it is actually a hamster.
Tech support: Okay sir. Please right-click your hamster...
It was sad to read that the guy who invented the computer mouse died.
Police suspect witchcraft as everyone ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Quick-F...
I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.
- Mark Simmons
I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Top-15-...
#EdinburghFringe #EdinburghFringe2024 #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
I returned my lizard to the pet store as he wouldn’t stop telling dad jokes.
That’s not a lizard, the store clerk told me.
That’s a stand-up chameleon
I saw a lizard ...
and it became. ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Lizard-...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldLizardDay
My grandfather has the heart of a lion,
And also a lifetime ban at the zoo.
What's the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A lion won't golf.
But a Tiger wood.
What did Spartacus say when the lion ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-18-Lion...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldLionDay
I really enjoy hearing all of the national anthems played at the Olympics.
I love country music
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dancefloor have in common ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Tickle-...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
I was once served French pancakes in a haunted house…
They gave me the crepes!
What do you call a man with a toe on his knee?
Tony.
I got fired from Pepsi after working there for 20 years...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-10-Fres...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga …
And 100% of men don’t care.
My sister told me yoga is the best form of exercise in the world.
I said, "that's a bit ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-16-Yoga...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #yoga #InternationalYogaDay
What did the dyslexic man order at the Italian restaurant? Tapas.
Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.
Did you hear about the plant in Baton ...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldTapasDay jokesoftheday.net/joke-Tapas-J...
My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food.
Sushi left me.
Q: What is my preferred type of sushi?
A: Payroll.
Q: What did the sushi say to the bee?
A: Wasabi!
Q: What pan is the best ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-25-Sush...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #InternationalSushiDay
Whenever I see the word 'falafel,' I think 'feel awful.'
It's a serious problem... and I falafel about it.
I ate a bad vegetarian kebab for lunch.
Now I falafel.
A man was found dead in a ...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-Falafel...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #InternationalFalafelDay
25 Running Jokes
Why did the DJ get disqualified from the 400m sprint?
He kept changing tracks.
How did the Robot break the 400m world record?
There was short circuit!
How did the barber win the ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-25-Runn...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #GlobalRunningDay
Q: Why are most corgi jokes such bad jokes?
A: Because they’re too short.
Q: What do you call a corgi that is overweight?
A: Low-fat
Q: Why do corgis react so violently when their food is ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Corgi-J...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #InternationalCorgiDay
Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes?
To get a breath of filtered air.
Why don't vampires like to smoke?
They always end up coffin.
A sales guy rings the doorbell on a house, and the ...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-No-Toba...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #notobaccoday
Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the barbecue?
He wanted to raise the steaks!
What do army guys say when they forget Memorial Day?
Ah, shoot!
What is your favorite Memorial Day tradition?
...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-Memoria...
#MemorialDay #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
2024 April Fools’ Day pranks
AI prank
Ask something on about well-known person/celebrity gemini.google.com or chat.openai.com or any other Chat Bot or AI tool.
Take Screenshot and then edit the name and put na : jokesoftheday.net/joke-2024-Ap...
#aprilfoolsday #aprilfoolsday2024
April Fools’ Day is the favorite holiday of which animal?
The silly goose!
April Fools’ Day is a great day to pull pranks.
Except on me, if you’re smart.
Believe nothing and ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-April-F...
#aprilfoolsday #aprilfoolsday2024 #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday jokesoftheday
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z.
How do they sleep at night?
I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg!
I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my ...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-Friday-...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!"
What has 2 buts a ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-7-Short...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
I was digging in the garden and happened to find a chest with a lot of gold coins.
I wanted to run home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why... jokesoftheday.net/joke-28-Morb...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #darkhumor
