Kerok

I want to absorb as much amazing stories as I can

I don't write narratives myself, I only know how to write music but I just love good writing in general man

man sometimes i just dont wanna do anything for a whole day except either play a game, watch a show or read a book

but i MUST do something productive otherwise i'll either get depressed or anxious...especially about deadlines

im still dieting tho so I got one of the most important parts still down

i've dieted 200+ days now which is crazy

but it kinda sad dieting when you actually feel bad HAHAH it makes things feel even more depressing HAHA fuckkk

hopefully this lasts a short time

hell, hopefully it's gone by tomorrow LOL

and it's weird because if i ain't working on something or something to improve myself I just feel like im wasting my life LOL

cuz other than that..other than work I don't really know what im doing existing you know what i mean LOL

I kinda had to stop working out for a little bit because i've had a chronic cough and now i know it's one of the reasons why I'm starting to feel lost again 💀

damn imma be honest im starting to feel quite depressed again

and not just the usual sad day like

wow what is my life right now sort of depressed

How do you explain this dude it’s like dry humor but for horror HAHA

And I like it but i also find it funny at times HAHAHA

I like it overall i love junji ito

Like junji ito is the kind of writer could make a doorknob disturbing or stubbing your toe traumatizing HAHAHA

Ive read a couple of junji ito books at this point and his style is really just so wacky

seems like most of the time he likes to pick one topic or object or something usually mundane and “usual” and he makes it absurdly horror

Makes me feel more motion sick ngl

Its just weird not feeling a rumble while you’re inside a car haha

Electric cars are lowkey unnerving with how quiet they are on standby inside

Hek sometimes i don’t even hear them coming while walking outside

Okay you know what, thinking about it i have a history of pre-diabetes and it makes sense now i really just am constantly dehydrated 💀

If one day we go mad max apocalypse i’d flex that I was one of the few that actually appreciated water when it was abundant HAHAHHA

Or am I just constantly dehydrated that I think water is miracle soup LOLLL

This is not even ironic like I actually like water this way am i weird af LOL

No seriously tho why do i find water so addicting LOL

Like i actually like water like people like alcohol LMAO

It doesnt have a taste but somehow so GOOD

definitely helps that it’s 0 calories and helps fill your stomach tho LOL

i kind of want a separate workspace and separate gaming space

but im not about to work in another room with no AC fukkk that

Ya know what the moment I yap about feeling bad I realized its a sign im going to have a depressive episode the next day LOL

rip

Get that shit outta my timeline man

Give me pictures of cute dogs and cats and cool gundam LOLL

It makes me feel bad when that personal attempt at being zen gets invaded with stupid things in the internet HAHAHAH

And i’m thankfully not counting down my “remaining” days anymore like before but it certainly has made me very aware that there’s just things that clearly waste our time and energy when we could be spending this time trying our best to enjoy our existence ya know?

Idk if its just me getting old but i genuinely just want to absorb and do things and be with people that matter to me. I’m tired of negative shit that I can avoid like social media drama

I do not give a shit about celeb drama dude 😭 it just makes me feel disgusted with these types of humans and I generally don’t want to be disgusted with humans ya know what I mean LOL

I want to appreciate things more bro that’s all i want HAHAHA

Scrolling meda has sucked ass for too long now HAHA

And i don’t mean 100% all the time happy go lucky

If it’s bad news I actually just want to be given the bad news that actually matters like world news etc. (hopefully unfabricated)

God wow i just do not care about streamer drama dude haha I wish my tl on twitter could just specifically be tailored to give me dopamine most of the time. I want my fyp in all my social media to literally be perfect

I also like the idea of color grading but i never had the time to learn it properly ;,) i just go with presets or making something up by eye HAHAHAH

but yeah these days if I do make something I'd really just rather have portable equipment than lug around heavier stuff even tho they are better most of the time