ꕤ 𝓷’𝓳𝓸𝔂’ ꕤ

to my lovely, beautiful dad, i understand your pain now, i wish i was able to understand sooner, im so sorry i wasnt there for you, i will hold that guilt over myself for the rest of my life. i will always love you forever 🤍

i’m hoping to get the help i need and hopefully will recover from this. because i know my lovely father wouldn’t want me to go through this, the way that he did.

i promised myself after my dad died, that i would never drink again, because i knew that once i would start, i simply wouldn’t stop. and i stayed strong for the longest time, until recently. i’ve gone off the rails and am becoming more and more destructive every day.

i dont really ever talk about my grief irl, i keep it to myself.

but this loss i’ve suffered has ruined me to the point where i dont recognise myself anymore.

i wish i realised when he was alive & gave him more compassion. because now that i’ve lost him, i truly understand why someone would feel the need to drink every day to numb the pain.

since June i’ve been drinking every single day, non stop. my father was an alcoholic. he was a wonderful, gentle, lovely man. however, had his flaws. & his alcoholism affected our entire family. i didn’t realise the pain he was in to have to self-medicate the way he did.

hello gang i’m back who missed me

logging off, i’m feeling the effects of all the grief & self-destruction. i need to take care of myself </3

guys that wasn’t me posting last night, it was the mind parasites, i apologise profusely on their behalf

lol i apologise pls ignore me if i did i am serious i stupid

spell check doesn’t exist when you’re drunk u know what i meant

when will they invent a man they is so deeply and obsessively in love with me??!?

if i drunk texted/messaged u, no i didn’t ❤️

i think my father would be disappointed in me for following in his footsteps but if i’m hurting so much why wouldn’t i?

if only my dad didn’t die, i wouldn’t be acting so crazy

we drunk together on a chewsday innit

addiction is genetic, and we as humans inherit our addiction genes from our father’s. it seems as though mine have become more apparent and complex lately.. how bad does it have to get before i seek help?

i think of you every time i look at the moon

lol when she screams and closes the laptop that’s me fr

u have good taste , my friend

dreams fleetwood mac

i love him

i would like to not

deal

give it to me

you know, i’m something of a diva myself

can’t wait for this mercury retrograde to end… I HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE A FOOLISH FOOL it needs to stop

homo simpson

ohhh this is why i love you forever my love

but me the most *gun to ur head*