West Coast Toast 🇨🇦

For more quality content, you'll have to follow other people.

RIP Walter Cronkite. You would have loved having to pause mid story to do an ad read for boner pills.

Trumpspeak: The one on the left is beautiful and good for us. The one on the right is ugly, causes cancer, and kills birds…

Today's social media tech is just misinfo and/or lies.
Trust none of what you read or see
Verify EVERYTHING!

EVERYTHING!!!

Can you Uber Eats a Costco hotdog?

Does the tooth fairy come when you're over 40?
and how much does she leave?

PERSON GASPING FOR AIR: *pushes epi pen into my hand*
ME: I said no autographs

I should spend more time here

Five corporations control 90% of the US media market.

Airlines merged from 12 major carriers in 1980 to 4 today.

Four giants control 80% of meat processing.

A handful of companies control the pharmaceutical industry.

The evidence of corporate concentration is everywhere.

You can tell how a woman feels about you by the way she twirls her hair and keys your car.

I don’t even know how many caulking guns I have. Thousands probably. So many caulking guns, so little caulk.

dont cross the starbucks picket line

NOVEMBER UPDATE: it's november

Sorry I used 100,000 gallons of water to make AI make a photo of your mom with a big cock.

What if we spliced the genes of Jack Black and Jack White together? Would they become Jack Grey?

I hate everyone that’s talking about Wicked 2 like it’s not THE SECOND ACT OF A MUSICAL. smh.

Dude, like everyday is basically international men's day

✨️we live in a patriarchy what more do yall want✨️

Trader Joe’s

Every day, Trader Joe’s donates all its close-to-expiry but edible products. In 2023 alone, those donations amounted over $469 million.

Forget politics. Nothing divides a family like the word “pecan.”

(translating for canadian friends) THANKSGIVING 2 IS NEXT WEEK

you wouldn't know my brainworm, it goes to a different school

I'm pissed there wasn't a mass revolt on the plane.
I sick of the cowardliness of it all.

That the dumbest, shittiest human- smeared in orange paint- is not humiliated daily when behaving badly.

I don't know why the "Piggy" thing is bothering me so much. It's one more unforgivable thing in a list of 20,000 unforgivable things, but I've been mad about it for like 12 straight hours.

Here let me fix this before you fuck it up. <flirting>

brought to you by the folks at "charob tastes just like chocolate" and "you'd never guess there was broccoli in that"

Hey I have a dental question. Anyone a dentist??

a pixelated image of a man making a face ALT: a pixelated image of a man making a face

My GF has a tiny rice cooker that she loves but it doesn't make enough rice.

I said why not just make it in a larger pot and she said:

"With this I just have put the rice and water in it and it cooks itself and in 20mins it's done!"

Just 4 more awards and I'll be in the EGOT club!

i shaved off his soul patch and now i control him