Stan Marsh

Oh, Kyle. That's so cool!

Same here, dude.

Really, what?

AI is already beginning to dominate and I'm starting to freak out right now because it all seems so real at first glance.

It's been ages since we all hung out together by the bus stop. You, me, Kenny and Cartman.

Oh good.

Oh dude, I’m so happy you’re alright!

Super best friends. ❤️

Wait a minute, isn't Scott's dad a diabetic too?

How's Kyle doing? I hope he's okay after his hemmorroid.

Let's be real, Cartman doesn't deserve to go out with anyone.

Yeah, sorry about that Kyle.

I already have, twice.

Well… okay, guess I’ll trust you on that.

Huh? That quickly?

But even so, how do you know Kyle is gonna survive?

Sorry, I didn’t mean to let it all out like that.

[he sighs as he calms down] I’m sorry dude, but that was what happened last time Kyle got one. I can’t let it happen to him again!

[gets defensive as a memory flashes back to him] Of course you don’t know, Andy. You weren’t there when that fatass bought an amusement park for himself and not let anyone else in, but himself! That moment of happiness was what almost killed my best friend and gave him a goddamn hemorrhoid!

I don’t know, but it had something to do with him losing faith in his religion which resulted in him getting a hemorrhoid in the first place.

It nearly killed him before.

[tears begin forming in his eyes] No, Kyle! Please don't die! I'll do anything to save your life, I promise!

I've heard what your dad did to you and he doesn't deserve you.

Damnit, not again!

Yeah, we were all just complete jerks towards him.

I missed you too, Kyle!

Kyle!

Butters can explain this better than I can since he was then when all that happened.

Uhhh, what's that?

That's cool.