willa

i'm a very REASONABLE person

dreamt that trans girls were calling each other dames instead of dolls

oh amazing ty! i suppose i should have this as a link to a google doc or something rather than a screenshot of a note

dreamt i was making a tart. strawberries incorporated into the dough, and cooked chard with a drop or two of orange oil on top.

come out tmrw :)

do u have any plans to screen in the bay area

plus milkweed flower is a top tier scent, a bit like lilac

plus this :)

dreamt of a new way people were signing off emails: IMYL (I miss your love)

maybe gauche to link back to ig from here, but ry is www.instagram.com/ry__noor/

willa is squatting in some spring grass, wearing a light blue silk slip, two tiny braids falling over her chest, she looks.. no offense.. pretty https://www.instagram.com/ry__noor/

dont hate me but ry took a really good photo of me

bedside book stack reveal

(don't live there anymore but grew up in idaho so have a vested interest, curious to hear what else you turn up)

Indigenous Idaho Alliance

more in the present, there's the Indigenous Idaho Alliance www.indigenousidalliance.org

there were several big earth first actions/encampments in central and northern idaho in the 90s and early 2000s

misread translation as transition. no less true lol

text from a 1952 paper by Margaret Mahler: "GEORGE was just under seven when admitted to our Children's Service with fulminant symptoms of delusions and hallucinations. He had developed fairly normally to the age of three. when a sister was born. He began to have night terrors. At about the same time he began to have what his mother aptly described as "talking tantrums." He would pace the room. talking angrily to himself about something which seemed entirely irrelevant to his environment. He would mumble: "I'm a pussy cat. I'm a pussy cat. Elaine is big. I'm a pussy cat." Shortly after the baby came, he wanted to wear her clothes. and often wanted to wear his mother's. He insisted that he wanted to be a girl, preferred female animals and asked his mother perseverative questions as to why he should not be a girl. At about the same time he began to be afraid of the holes in a fence which he passed. or wherever he encountered any. His father frequently used this fear as a threat. often telling him he would put him in a hole. He tried to get reassurance from his father by asking frequently: "Do you love me?" George became a very good but asocial student. He often spoke of his sister. and again and again of his pet kitten in school. "I have a cat at home. It's a girl cat. I like my cat. I'm a girl cat."

cat girls will outlast u

finally... a philosophy of molecular worldings and flows of collective potentia for the RESISTANCE

too sweet!

i don't like marzipan

Jonathan Sterne talks a bit about the history of the CD format in MP3: The Meaning of a Format - less in terms of aesthetics maybe but relevant perhaps

Dreamt that I was explaining dialectics to my brother with the example of needing to pee but not being able to

To be loved is to be changed. Covered in saliva, tears, and dry spots,

incredible line from a student's essay

i have two poems in the new issue of Grotto: grottojournal.net/Willa-Smart

meme reading 'who here a lesbian but in the dennis cooper way' - text overlaid on image of one man holding another man baby style

that said, obviously there are exceptions and i would love to find out about more of them. as far as i can tell, sylvia rivera's incredible text 'queens in exile' wasn't published until 2002 but is about her earlier life - transreads.org/wp-content/u...

i.e., this isn't a bibliography that can be improved through a logic of 'inclusion' and 'diversification.' the gender normativity that governs this genre (binary sex, heterosexuality, monogamy, etc.) is itself determined by a logic of racial normativity

the list obviously skews white — which is related to publishing economies and questions of whose narratives are deemed marketable; but more than this i think points to transfemininity's constitutive whiteness in 20th c.

pre-2000s transfeminine memoirs & life writing * Daniel Paul Schreber, Memoirs of My Nervous Illness (1903) * Jennie June, Autobiography of an Androgyne (1918) * Jennie June, The Female Impersonators (1922) * Lili Elbe, Man into Woman (1933) * Tamara Reese, “Reborn”: A Factual Life Story of a Transition from Male to Female (1955) * Hedy Jo Star, I Changed My Sex (1963) * Christine Jorgensen, A Personal Autobiography (1967) * Geoff Brown, I Want What I Want … To Be a Woman (1971, published as a novel) * Dianna, Behold, I am a Woman (1972) * Jan Morris, conundrum (1974) * Being Different: The Autobiography of Jane Fry (1974) * Canary Conn, Canary: The Story of a Transsexual (1974) * Nancy Hunt, Mirror Image: The Odyssey of a Male-to-Female Transsexual (1978) * Renee Richards, second serve (1981) * Tula, I am a Woman (1982) * Angela Douglas, Triple Jeopardy (1983) * Ashley April (w Duncan Fallowell) April Ashley's Odyssey (1983) * Inge Stephens, Alain, transsexuelle (1983, in french) * Stephanie Castle, Feelings: a transsexual's explanation of a baffling condition (1992) * Angela Douglas, Hollywoods Obsession (1992) * Tula, My Story (1992) * Julia Grant, Just Julia: The Story of an Extraordinary Woman (1994) * Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaw (1995) * Jayne County, Man Enough to Be a Woman (1995) * Mirrors: Portrait of a Lesbian Transsexual - Beth Elliot and Geri Nettic (1996) * Bambi Lake, The Unsinkable Bambi Lake (1996) * Claudine Griggs, Passage through Trinidad: journal of a surgical sex change (1996) * Jennifer Spry, Orlando's sleep: an autobiography of gender (1997) * Deirdre McCloskey, Crossing: A Memoir (1999)

have been casually assembling a bibliography of 20th century transfeminine life writing / memoirs. certainly not a complete list — if you know of any omissions plz lmk so that i can add them :)

footnote from a robert stoller text: "In our research team, we practically consider the diagnosis of transsexualism made, before ever having seen the patient, when 'she' fails to appear at the appointed time for the first visit."

next dsm is going to replace gender dysphoria with unpunctuality