Stoney Emshwiller

All you 2nd 'mendment fans out there who for years have insisted that the right to bear arms is all about being able to defend yourself against your very own government should it become tyrann!cal… Welp, I’ve got some news for you that you’ll probably find SUPER exciting. Your moment has arrived!

I sincerely don’t know why people aren’t physically stopping those dorks. Move shit. Lock doors. Lose the keys. Everyone switch seats. Turn off all the lights. Switch the signs on the elevator lobby. Make the settings all silly. Use a different language. Wear costumes. Fill rooms with balloons

My cat just complained very loudly about being fed a little later than usual on this, my birthday (I was napping). She insists my tardiness and general incompetence cat-food-wise is no-doubt due to me being a DEI hire.

The Treasury Department right now. People are turning out against Musk and DOGE staging a takeover of the Treasury’s payment system. This crowd is big. The whole block is packed. “Lock him up,” everyone yells.

Went for a physical today and the doc gave me my first prostate exam in ages. As I dropped trou and he went to work, I asked over my shoulder, “That’s your finger, right?” Fortunately, he laughed.

I was waiting on line at the pharmacy when, over the store’s speakers, they started playing that song that goes: “There’s only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 yooooou: I love you!” I started humming along & thinking: “I love this song!” After that thought, I mused: “You are indeed an old wh!te man, Stoney.”

Looks like every penny of their fourteen dollar budget is up there on the screen! (I must say it was a bit unnerving to hear so many "Stoneys" said.)

Run away from cheeseburgers. (Isn't that a cheeseburger in the sky?)

Catty.

Hello world!