Stu ~Bat Country~ Nugent

the phrase "shaft horsepower" is deeply suspicious, maybe cursed

just heard someone say surfing the net and hoo boy does that make me feel old

i hope this email finds you serving the omnissiah even in death

A guy came to me with an app he built. I registered it and came in as a minority shareholder to handle the marketing.

It's his product. He built it. But he added a section where he called me 'our founder'. Strange wave of pride came over me. Like the first time a kid calls their stepfather 'dad.'

Oh I missed your eleventy-eleventh anniversary. Congrats on your sober time, long may it continue.

this is a wildly interesting language fact

I'm sorry sir, we only have the slutty olive oil today

Great to see the UK police take swift and decisive action only 16 years after the story first broke

watching the winter olympics can't help but notice the similar trajectory as modern porn in which everything is a competition to do the most infeasible unparsable things all at once and then give it a name like '7-way triple nose hook backslide grimace'

man i was SO ready to be outraged by this but turns out it's just talcum powder for your fleshlight

@aeris.baby you're like a neutrino of my social media life, you come and go, pop up and disappear erratically, impossible to predict. this could easily be a description of you

this is a fuckin trainwreck of a post

*in court*

judge: you are accused of being square

*i jump on the judges desk*

me: hashtag not all men...

judge: Gah, i find you guilty

*i backflip off the desk

me: ...HAVE PENISES

judge: whoa case dismissed i hereby find you COOL AS FUCK

*me and judge high 5, lawyers go apeshit*

if you wanna get my attention, it should be "do you like smelting iron, forging steel in a cave"

ya know what @annijyn.com sometimes I post something that i know, through some weird seventh sense, that you're gonna be the only person who likes it

if someone tried to woo me with that pina colada song i'd be like no i HATE making love at midnight, we go to bed at 8pm and fuck sleepily for 4 minutes in the morning, put THAT in yer fuckin dumb song

this is the funniest valentine's day promotion i've seen so far

I'm doing great. Left Berlin behind ages ago, it really got on top of me after a while. I think you could probably tell. How's you? How's Sliced?

I'm so old that 2025 still sounds like the future

sorry i yelled DUST MY WETS when we were having sex

@laurenp.bsky.social Lauren!? From Sliced? I'm surprised but happy to bump into you here.

I really hope Europe shows a little bit of spine this week.

history can be divided into two epochs, the pre-malone period and the u no where this joke is going SAY IT WITH ME

help my dog has been reading left wing memes and now she has become ungovernable

This should be the best and most exciting time to be alive in human history, so why does everything feel so shitty all the time

don't talk about how i thrust my post please

You know how everyone hated the Hobbit movies because Peter Jackson filmed them at 60fps instead of 24fps so they looked kinda TOO real? That's what Bonnie Blue looks like

YouTube video by Loczniki official Doing side-quests be like:

This channel really ought to be bigger than it is
youtube.com/shorts/Is9Nw...

that's called docking

"2026, brought to you by Kia"

America is irredeemable.