laura m.

The leaves up here are heavenly! 🍁

Our first weekend away since ... everything. And it was the perfect time to revisit this city I love so much (Kingston, Ontario). 🇨🇦

A deer with big antlers looks toward the camera while standing among trees and fallen leaves in the forest.

Lovely hike this morning at Five Rivers. And we encountered this beautiful buck who was just off the trail! So glad to be able to get back out in nature again, even if I still have to stick to flat easy trails. 🦌

I'm just a person, standing in front of an insurance company representative, asking them for the eighth time to explain WHY an in-network provider's bills keep getting classified as "out of network" ...

Oncologist said last week that I can have a little break before starting 5+ years of preventative meds. I have the pills but am planning to wait until about Oct 15 to start them so I can focus on getting stronger.

I feel like I look a thousand years older. (Not sleeping more than 4-5 hours a night anymore probably has something to do with that.) But now I don't have to follow up for a whole year! We're on the other side!

Post-surgical followup went well! Surgeon lifted all restrictions, so in theory I don't need my old-lady reacher to pick things up off the floor anymore and can start light weight training again, etc. (In practice I expect to remain cautious for another 4-6 weeks so I don't risk tearing stitches.)

❤️‍🩹

We had been planning to take an epic road trip to WV and hike in New River Gorge plus other amazing places. Been planning for months. I was so excited! Now I can't even sit up for an episode of TV, so long car trips feel so far off. Trying not to let myself get too discouraged. I know it takes time.

Surgery recovery is going a bit better: I feel more like myself, planning for future things, which wasn't happening a week ago. But I'm still sad about losing my summer. As Monday (my first in-person teaching day of the fall term) approaches, I'm mourning the vacation we never got to take in May ...

I keep almost posting and then deleting it. This surgery recovery has been really rough; I'm only six days out but it feels like forever. Feels like it'll be forever before I'm back on my feet, back to myself. My body is trying to figure itself out again and throwing me wicked anxiety too. Ugh.

Am I ready for my hysterectomy + oophorectomy on Monday? Not sure. But ALL of my lesson plans for both schools are DONE! For the whole semester! And all assignments and materials are up on each LMS. I can spend the rest of my summer recovering ... ❤️‍🩹

Onco-gyno appointment this morning. Looks like I'm having a hysterectomy + oophorectomy to reduce my uterine cancer risk from the hormone receptor modulator meds I'll have to take for up to a decade. Those meds increase uterine cancer risk by 30%! Surgery is scheduled for 8/11. Here we go ...

3-in-1 stain was always obviously a total lie.

It really is! Hmm, as a writer maybe I need to do something about that.

But thank you for your reply - it means a lot.

I'm going on about this not to throw myself a pity party but because it's not something we talk about! "Survivorship" is a complicated and individual thing, but it would be nice if we all, collectively, knew more about this stuff. Movies & TV show people "beating cancer" but not the lifelong impact.

I thought at first that I would "get through" treatment and get on with life, but that's not how it works. I have to take meds for 5-10 yrs. I have to be careful to prevent lymphedema for the rest of my life. If I develop joint pain I have to wonder whether it's age, meds side effect, or metastasis.

So many things I didn't know about breast cancer before I was diagnosed: lymphedema risk, recurrence risk, years of medication after initial treatment. Possibility of other cancers. If it recurs after double mastectomy it might show up in chest or spread to bone or brain or liver or lung.

Starting medication soon to prevent recurrence could challenge me on that goal (side effects can include debilitating joint pain) but I'm determined to keep hiking as much as possible. Exercise is proven to be the best recurrence deterrent. And too many rabbits and deer are out there waiting for me.

Saw 20 rabbits and a pair of beautiful deer on my hike at Five Rivers this morning. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April, I didn't think I was going to reach my #52hikechallenge goal this year. But I'm back on track and I've already done 41 hikes this year. I can do it.

You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who's coming to save you?