Taco Bell Quarterly

🖤🌮Living Más Intensifies🌮🖤

Submitted something to @tacobellquarterly.org on a whim because sometimes, you gotta live más and Baja Blast your shot

I've received a ton of inquiries and the answer is sure, why not, anything is always possible until it's in the past!

Taking a mental week off and then writing each of you back personally telling you my favorite parts and lines in the next couple of months! Let's make TBQ8! If you have something you want to send for consideration and missed the window, who cares? There are no rules. email it to me. We pay $150!

I don't care about the Paris Review anymore. Trying to get the ghost of Charles Scribner to recognize me is my new side quest

Why is this so true

And I am the Literary World's Prestigious Taco Bell Quarterly and they will add my name next to Hemingway in their PR material

We'll have to do a reprint of the ones we made for a literary conference once!

I hope this account becomes active one day to promote my book lol

The main thing I learned is that in order to write a book, you have to write a book and there's nothing that's going to prepare you for writing a book until you write a book so you should write a book

A publishers marketplace book deal announcement from 2023 for a book about junk

I turned my book in @scribnerbooks.bsky.social today, and I swear to whoever is running the account, you can add Taco Bell Quarterly next to Stephen King, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway. Corporate at Simon and Schuster already said it was already okay to add me in the bio, totally legit

AS WE SPEAK my students are reading works from @angelluiscolon.com, @pauljgarth.bsky.social, @inauthenticity.bsky.social @tacobellquarterly.org @theptessadactyl.bsky.social @shotgunhoney.com @macarrick.bsky.social @melissaragsly.bsky.social and others!

You have to read this funny I swear

I hate writing and myself. It's great, really.

An onion post

This is a description of creative writing @theonion.com

Tonight: Unsealing the Taco Bell Tape

An 8mm training video. Dated 1-96.
English. Spanish. Possibly forbidden.

We don’t know what’s on it. But it trained a generation of taco technicians.

9PM Eastern

#TacoBell #TrainingTape #LostMedia #VHS @tacobellquarterly.org

It's an okay program. A lot of people around here go. I'll never get over the feeling that I got hustled a little bit though

I meant to say above the MFA program brags of the writers associated with it, calling itself one of the most selective in America. What about the flexible online classes that takes everyone that produced me? Add me to the site.

Forget the Paris review. This is the real institution I should have acknowledge me lol

I went to the bastard child program that takes anyone's money as long as they can express a desire to write and it funds the MFA program. When I got my book deal I had no way to notify the school so I posted it in a Facebook group. The MFA program of the famous writers associated with it.

I didn't produce a book length work at the end of the program. Instead, we all contributed a piece to a self-published literary magazine and got a souvenir copy.

My writing degree still advertises its flexible online classes to me in the sponsored section of Gmail is my villain origin story

My book is due in 14 days and then I'm responding to everyone personally telling you my favorite part in your piece

Slow down, you haven't run out of agents to query. Your agent hasn't even decided where they're getting their MFA, and you haven't had the crisis that your book is actually about yet!

You don't have to be cool in the literary world. Don't even worry about it. The ones that think they are cool are the biggest nerds of them all. You're doing fine

The Chief legal officer has been assured it's a literary magazine and they're always one gasp away from death

We make no profits on the words Taco Bell, and let's face it, we're writers, we make no profits on any words

The social media team regularly assures corporate lawyers the airlock known as literary world remains strong. now that we're not using x they may not even be aware the literary world is still happening as a thing they need to be actively monitoring

The fact that I haven't been sued by Taco Bell is how I know the literary world isn't real and you can do whatever you want. No one will ever hear of this in real life. It's only creative writing. It's fine. Write what you want and live más.

My original headline for this article would have been just “Fuck You” or “shut the fuck up, asshole” but I can’t get away with that unfortunately