Sophie Venz

Eat a banana and sit outside xx

My head hurts

Yes, Australia doesn't exist. It's made up. I've been telling you guys this all along

Thank u !!!

Honestly it’s been nearly 12 hours and I’ve thought about it, on average, fifty times a minute

what is a bath if not a tiny pool, and what is a pool if not a tiny ocean?

Peeing in the bath is good for the soul

I can't wait for all of my friends to wake up so I can call them and say "I have big news"

My psychologist just told me that if they could give out an A+ in therapy, they would give me one

(My mum is called Karen and she just said this)

Having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. The Karens of the world will say this because I don’t make my bed, I just know it

Hell yeah it did!!! Ok I’m staying on Bluesky in my unmade bed, no more Twatter 4 me <3

DID MY DOMAIN CONNECTION FINALLY WORK

The Magic Faraway Tree changed my psyche forever when I was in Year 4

Homophobe Notices Flag In Shop

Jackal is actually my middle name how crazy is that

What if I went back to Twitter. What then

I had something funnier in my head but then I started feeling nauseous typing this on the bus :/

Please stop emailing me to ask if I am “Sophie Venz the journalist”. I am clearly a full time jester

My mum always told me to never post anything on the internet I wouldn’t be okay with my grandma seeing, which is very funny because if my grandma saw my tweets about The Stolen Vibrator she would have called the hotel and had them sued for negligence

Accidentally fell asleep and missed all of the rugby game I paid £65 quid for, but my local pizza store had text me to give me a code for a free pizza. This is what they are talking about when they talk about ‘divine intervention’ btw

who’s gonna be the one to tell baby soph that 9 years later, her dreams came true???

2025 is the year that hustle culture dies out and becomes embarrassing btw. You heard it here first

If this isn’t one of the songs ur referencing then that’ll be my L to cop

Girls

DOES THE COLD MAKE YOUR TEETH FEEL WEIRD

Me to everyone: Google is a free resource!
Me to me: (but you can text your mum and ask if you prefer sweetie it’s ok)

I can’t believe I’m almost the age my mum was when she already had two children?????????? And I’m out here texting her from the other side of the world asking her “how do I stay warm in winter”

books are for losers

(I work for myself)