The Gray Gay

Yeah it looks like a nipple hassle. Ha.

He had emergency surgery two days after me. It was really scary. He came out and then had complications. Today was his first day home. For a couple who haven’t been apart is 23 years it took a toll on both of us. Now that he’s home life is starting to feel like it’s going to be okay

A quiet mirror selfie taken one week after surgery. A man stands shirtless in soft light, with healing scars visible on his abdomen. His expression reflects relief and cautious hope. The image captures a private moment of recovery and the early return of strength.

One week post-op, and in a quiet moment between everything, I caught a glimpse of the future.
Healing is happening — even when life is still chaotic.

I’m sorry I can’t figure out ALT text. For those who need it. with the first post I included a black-and-white close-up of me with messy hair and tear tracks on my face. My expression is tired but steady. High contrast and sharp detail show skin texture and raw emotion against a dark background.

Right now my only focus is helping him feel safe so he can rest and heal. Thank you for the prayers. We feel them.

To the few who physically showed up — you know who you are. Presence matters more than words.

We don’t have family here. If I’m slow to respond or not giving detailed updates, it’s not personal. I simply don’t have the bandwidth to manage everyone’s worry while managing a medical crisis.

I’m going to be honest — this has been brutal. I haven’t slept. I haven’t eaten much. I’m recovering from surgery myself, and at one point my own incisions started bleeding because I wouldn’t leave him.

Right now he’s scared and confused — which they warned us could happen — so I’m staying right by his side. In this moment, I’m the thing that feels familiar to him. He needs calm. He needs rest.

Update: Matt is stable. He made it through surgery.

They rushed him into surgery this morning. I’ve been a panic all day but I just got news. He’s coming out of the OR. He made it he made it. Thank you all for your kind words love and support. I feel like Scrooge on Christmas morning. Somebody get me a goose!

it’s actually one of the pen marks from the surgeon. I have them all over me in the front and the back cause I’m not allowed to shower yet. It would make a wicked scar though.

Dramatic, studio-style photograph of a man’s upper torso one day after abdominal surgery. The image is set against a black background with strong side lighting that highlights muscle definition and skin texture. A small fresh incision is visible near the navel, and faint purple surgical marker lines run down the center of the chest and abdomen. The lighting gives the image a powerful, resilient t

I used to see damage when I looked in the mirror.
Now I see healing.
This was never about vanity. It was about peace.

There’s a clear line in my life now — before the tumor, and after.
The storm is real. So is the fear.
But so is the love. And that love is the only light we need. 🫶

A person remains calm in a canoe as a dark storm rages around them, with crashing waves and lightning, their face lit by their phone.

I couldn’t keep posting photos that showed how wrecked I feel. So here’s one that says it another way.
Every comment, every message, every check-in has been a light in a very dark storm. I’m reading them all. Thank you for keeping me steady. 🤍

read your comments late at night, when the world is quiet and my thoughts are loud. I may not be able to reply to everyone or do so quickly, but please know I’m reading them all—sometimes more than once. Thank you for being here.

A person remains calm in a canoe as a dark storm rages around them, with crashing waves and lightning, their face lit by their phone.

I couldn’t keep posting photos that showed how wrecked I feel. So here’s one that says it another way.
Every comment, every message, every check-in has been a light in a very dark storm. I’m reading them all. Thank you for keeping me steady. 🤍

I’m spending the night on the floor of a hospital room either more questions than answers. I am so scared.

I am so scared. I've not been apart from husband for 23 years and tonight hes in the hospital and im trying to hold it together for our young kids.

Today took a turn I wasn’t prepared for. I went from the operating room to the ER. My husband has a growth and needs brain surgery. I am terrified, y’all.

Ha. Truth

😂🤣 I think they are adorable.

Thank you

😂🤣🫵🤣

🫶🫵

Yours is gorgeous

Thank you. Love wheeling me back. See you on the other side!

A smiling man in black silk pajamas and a cap sits on a marble floor in a clinic lobby, arms raised in celebration. A blue bag, phone, and loafers rest near him while a dark marble reception desk and framed certificates blur into the background. The mood feels relieved, grateful, and optimistic after a medical procedure.

Healing isn’t vanity.
It’s choosing to feel at home in your own skin.
Grateful. A little nervous. Very hopeful. 🖤

Love

A joyful black-and-white jester pops through bold red cartoon rings, laughing with mouth wide open and holding a small sign that says “Ha.” He wears a polka-dot clown costume with a ruffled collar and party hat, framed by the classic concentric red backdrop with the phrase “That’s all Folks!” styled at the bottom.

Apparently there’s a trend where you ask ChatGPT to create a caricature of you based on what it knows.

I did it.

All I can say is… solid burn, ChatGPT. Solid burn.