Pats Vobiscum

They don't even bother to lie badly anymore. I suppose that's the final humiliation.

It’s this multiple times a day

Lawyers have been publicizing a new term to describe ICE's racially targeted detainments: a “Kavanaugh stop.”

Mother Jones reporter Pema Levy explains in this new video:

New browser add-on idea: an extension that IDs stand-up streams, etc. from any comedians that performed at the Saudi comedy laughtacular.

Pouring kerosene on the simmering conflict between Burgerville and Super Deluxe partisans. If they want a war in Portland, this is how it starts.

Brb, got to remind a client NOT to mention their “genocide cabinet” during testimony.

But hast thou condemned Hamas in iambic pentameter?

For some reason I thought this was the one on Foster (Portland Mercado, I think). But yeah, you’re right. I blame it on the fog of war.

That’s not “tipping.” That’s the added cost of paying the smugglers sneaking in supplies!

And burger stands. But you can’t even get a normal burger anymore. They all say “smashed,” which I assume is due to war-related beef scarcity.

War ravaged Coquine. Once a fine-dining establishment now commandeered by ANTIFA’s officer corps as their canteen.

Disrupted supply lines, ravaged by war, have caused caviar prices to spike.

It’s a wartime economy here now. Can’t even get a fancy prix fixe dinner for two for less than $200. Wine is being rationed and must be purchased by the glass. Please send help (and fresh caviar).

#WarRavagedPortland

That’s actually our neighbor’s cat who adopted us. She repays our hospitality by bringing us dead ICE drones (what the unenlightened masses refer to as “birds”).

The plan went to shot once they raised the Hawthorne Bridge, to allow a dinner boat cruise through, thereby delaying the flanking action.

It’s true though. Here in SE PDX, I wasn’t able to get into Screen Door for brunch because it was booked full of ANTIFA supersoldiers on lunch break before heading back to the front lines. 😢

True. But laughter is an excellent way to find the strength to get through the day. And mockery is a time-honored weapon against despots.

War ravaged food carts with long lines of 2 people and refugees forced to sit and eat in the shade

War ravaged food carts, invaded by plaid wearing ANTIFA spies

Refugee camps. Look at what we’ve been reduced to!

#WarRavagedPortland

We will fight them on the beaches. We will fight them in the streets. We will brunch at Pine State Biscuits and Jam on Hawthorne and then fight them in the afternoon before the Timbers game.

#WarRavagedPortland

They’ll deploy the BiscuitShield™️, which also functions as brunch.

Mum’s the word 🤫

Thank you for your service 🫡

Way to ruin the surprise 😮

Super suss, war ravaged cruise ship on the war ravaged Willamette

ANTIFA troop transport traversing the Willamette, loaded with the 69th ANTIFA marine battalion (the “Fighting Kropotkins”).

#WarRavagedPortland

#WarRavagedPortland (photos by ANTIFA subcommandant Jeff VanderMeer)

War ravaged pristine forest path

War ravaged pristine tree tunnel

War ravaged kids at war ravaged Quarterworld training on an ANTIFA driving simulator

War ravaged ninja cat

#WarRavagedPortland

This is so fucking delusional. Who could possibly look at this and this “this fellow possesses a sound mind”?

Political violence disproportionately hurts people with less power, not people with more power. Political violence will disproportionately hurt people of color and women and LGBTQ people. It’s not fair, but that’s the way it works. Celebrating political violence means at best indifference to that.

Political violence is bad. It usually begets more political violence.

Celebrating political violence is bad. It usually encourages more political violence, against various targets.

Campus shootings are bad. They make everyone on campus less safe.

It's bad that what I wrote here is controversial.

At first I read this as “civil commitment to” (help) people who are homeless and I thought “that’s nice, but why would Todd Young pretend to care about them?” Glad I re-read it.

The first rule of persuasive speaking is “know your audience.” On the one hand, that means what you said is totally legitimate. On the other? I guess you should’ve known posting this to Bluesky would result in an attempt to make you the today’s “That Guy”? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I love how Trump’s hand-picked health guru constantly sounds like he’s gargling fluid coming up from his lungs and is apparently deaf.