David Smith

Pierrot, by Jean-Antoine Watteau, 1718-19, 📸 by @andyharnik

I’m not a lawyer, but this means anyone could throw a sandwich at a LEO and expect to walk free, right?

“See now: broads point their radium-soaked brushes like this *rolls daintily on lips* while guys point their radium-tipped brushes like this *rolls brusquely on cargo pants*.”

I think if footballers have to go off for concussion exams if they appear to have taken a head injury, then highly placed government officials should do the same.

Just don’t play for a while if you can’t answer some basic questions or count fingers. Sub in someone with less brain injury.

I know it probably didn’t sound like this on the stand, but it’s hard to read this without assuming the inflection was the same as the “Leave Britney alone!” meme.

👏🏻 Spectacular 👏🏻

Only fools believe their eyes.
We all wear masks in the City of Lies.
#l5r #halloween #shortfiction

Well, it’s done SOMETHING because my balls have started fading out of all of my photographs!

Some folks believe time is a flat circle. Test this by punching Now-Ben in the balls and see if Past-Ben doubles over and wheezes an apology to you.

Guys, I think the moral arc of the universe is figuring its shit out.

Jurgen Klopp is back in the Trivago ads! Common sense prevails!

Not tweet, whatever this shit is.

He read your tweet in the 83rd minute. Cracking outbreak of agriculture tackling.

Great work by the Tifo crew tonight

Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.

Okay: Wizard of Oz, but Almira Gulch DOES kill Toto and Dorothy goes in a John Wick-style gun-fu killing spree across Oz to find her way home and exact her revenge.

Weirdly in the French version Benoît Blanc is called Benedict White and good god, his Provençal accent is all over the place.

The parks and rec website is dogshit.

Has The Trivago Spokesperson Been Replaced By AI? The Trivago commercials have long been ridiculed but has the main spokesman been replaced by AI due to backlash?

You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

entertainmentchronicle.com/2025/10/18/h...

WTF I’ve just seen a Trivago ad and they’ve removed Jurgen Klopp. Some other guy is digitally inserted? They disappeared Jurgen Klopp!

You have to hand it to him: Nobody embodied “When they were up they were up, and when they were down they were down” quite like Prince Andrew.

Imagine getting back from outer space and finding out Gloria Gaynor was dumping you.

You’d be gutted.

Makes you wonder if being an astronaut is worth it.

Crying laughing over these, good god.

I mean, it’s not what you expect, but I can see her points.

It’s starting…

3-1 with 33% possession, ffs. Get in there.

a man is sitting at a desk holding a piece of paper in front of a map of the world . ALT: a man is sitting at a desk holding a piece of paper in front of a map of the world .

“The last time I saw a Scot rob the Greeks so badly, Lord Elgin’s return baggage was waaay over the weight allowance.”

It’s so weird that in 300 years someone is going to be defending their thesis about The Semiotics of Frogs in early 21st Century Political Discourse.