David

Hello, yes, my entire identity is oppositional defiant disorder married to a deep and abiding stupidity, all wrapped in a love of cruelty that is a literal sexual fetish.

Friendly reminder that extreme wealth correlates with an increased likelihood of sociopathy vs the population average.

5. Watch in dry amusement as the cult neophytes are very shocked when, upon being arrested for their participation in the food riots, they realise their red hats confer no special treatment or privelleges.

6. Rake in those sweet, sweet billionare tax breaks.

#shutdown

3. Deploy national guard (many of whom are only slightly less desperate than the rioters).

4. Orange colostomy bag: "we'll have to delay midterms indefinitely, the Epstein files were an antifa/Dem hoax, and this list of people are antifa ringleaders, so have been sent to Gitmo.

#shutdown

1. Push already desperate people into food riots by literally starving them and their families.

2. Wheel the orange colostomy bag out to denounce all rioters as members of antifa, and the riots national emergencies/insurrections.

#shutdown

Both cats seen very sus of the new robot vac; every clean there are a dozen photos of them following it around the house and monitoring it

#Cats are the best people.

I am struggling to see how even the most hardcore of big orange's supporters could rationalise a multi-million dollar, north-koreanesq military parade for a guy who has divided his time between shitting on their country from a great height, sleeping in public, and golf.

Had my eye pew pewed. Cv annoying.

They pull me back in *Silvio Intensifies*

Fuggeddaboudit

Nobody is riding that broken dick except unusually stupid incels. (I don't care if the story about a botched dick embiggening surgery is true or not, it's canon as far as I'm concerned)

TBF If I had that power, I would be using it to derail some of the people who rip down the footpath on electric scooters at mach 2.

And dudes on shit bikes with (illegal) racing exhausts that perforate ear drums from 2 blocks away.

And any Harley Davidson rider I saw.

got a 3 day ban on Reddit for "threatening violence"

I suggested you could weaponise a fictional superpower that "lets you give someone an orgasm by pointing a finger gun at them and saying pew".

It's the only thing that kind of works. If I take it with alcohol.

My brain really doesn't like sleep.

my doctor: you can't use stilnox every night, okay?

me: i believe you are correct that it is a very bad idea.

my doctor: yes, but you aren't going to use it every night are you?

me: that would be a very bad idea.

my doctor: ...

me: ...

a man is sitting in the back seat of a car and making a funny face . ALT: a man is sitting in the back seat of a car and making a funny face .

i am in no way condoning, endorsing, or suggesting violence, but I hear Mario's brother has a good line on effective discourse vis-a-vis persons believe they are above the law and who gleefully leverage institutions to hurt others while enriching themselves.

atheist here, we don't claim him. I'm in the "anybody can practice their faith as long as they stay away from public policy and don't hurt anyone" but, honestly, if MAGATs think this bloated fuckwit who also happens to be a serial adulterer and adjudged rapist is holy, then that's very much on them

#tw #cancer #boomer #selfharm

Looking after one terminally ill parent is stressful enough, but when the other is being a childish fuck, I cannot begin to describe how much I want to stick my hand in a blender just for the hospital stay and associated mental health assessment.

If i tweak any of my default settings in an attempt to create a better user experience for people connecting with me, i usually stop working altogether and need to be factory reset.

Really enjoying my father's refusal to wear his hearing aids, because apparently he enjoys making me repeat myself 3 times while yelling

Pristine football field. RSL.

It is. You just need to start up an employment agency first.

That sounds like a keeper, 100%

Time for me to distract myself from introspection vis-a-vis my relentless cynicism. 😅

Look, this is absolutely not a suggestion that they cheated or are not the one, simply proof that I am cynical beyond words. 😅

Cat has claimed my leg. Guess I'm here until death takes me.

Man, I'm going to end up boiling the ocean dry at this rate

Super productive teams meeting that could have been an email, where all the other disciplines talk for hooourrrsss and us in the EI&C team are just sitting here like

Them: was it a productive meeting?

Me: