Phantomas

COMING SOON: AI + Guy™

this is the guy who wants an AI Dead Nan

4 panel comic Panel 1: Red Guy and Blue Kid are having a conversation. Blue Kid: I wanna be an Artist Red Guy: Ha ha ha. You’ll never make it Panel 2: 15 years later: Blue Kid is now an adult. He says: I became an artist! Red Guy looks surprised. Panel 3: Red Guy descends into bitterness brought on by his own failures Panel 4: Close up of Red Guy, really really mad. He seeths: I’ll make you PAY for proving me wrong

a lot of AI advocates are this red guy

Santa is checking his list, standing next to a very small baby Santa: Looks like you’re on the naughty list Jimmy. Says here you shot a man in 1886”

Santa Is Now Using AI

4 panel comic Panel 1: A Green Alien and a Pink Alien watch Bluesky on a monitor aboard their spaceship Green Alien says “Some of them are arguing about a war. And some of them are arguing about a cartoon dog with boobs” Panel 2: Pink Alien replies, “So this is happening in two separate dimensions” Panel 3: Green Alien says, “No. In the same dimension. At the same time. Panel 4: Pink Alien: “Fuckin what”

Two Aliens Looking At Bluesky

typical ai use case

3 panel comic Panel 1: Two characters are lying on a conveyor belt that is slowly feeding them into a meat grinder. A Pink Guy is closest to the grinder. He is duct taped and tied up. A Blue Guy in sun glasses is next to him. He is not tied up and there is a lever saying “Stop” above his head. Pink Guy yells, “HELP! PULL THE LEVER!” Blue Guy casually says “No can do, bro. Empathy is toxic” Panel 2: The Pink Guy is crushed by the grinder as the Blue Guy folds his arms across his chest and says “Caring is weakness, bro” Panel 3: The Blue Guy starts to get crushed by the grinder. His agonised last words are “What’s in it for me, bro?”

empathy is toxic, bro

4 panel comic: Panel 1: A smug Nazi throwing up a Nazi salute Panel 2: The Nazi gets hit with a little water balloon Panel 3: The Nazi starts to shrink and shrivel Panel 4: The Nazi is a now tiny crying baby

A Nazi (2026)

すけぶ！

🖤🐍

しゅけぶ！

すけぶ

3 panel comic Panel 1 Fully Gold Guy and Blue Guy. Blue Guy: Sir you have broken the law Panel 2: Blue Guy: Time to FACE THE CONSEQUENCES Panel 3: Gold Guy: Nah Blue Guy, Shrivelling like a cowardly dog: okey

when the rich Do Crimes

4 Panel Comic Panel 1: Purple Guy is reaching down out of shot. He is massively straining to pick something up Panel 2: Purple Guy, coming up empty handed, sweating and mad, says “SHIT. This thing is like Thor’s Hammer!” A tiny child enters the panel. The child is very small and weak. Panel 3: Child bends down out of shot Panel 4: Child reappears holding a very small pencil. Purple Guy is livid.

AI Slop Merchants, the purple guy is you

“Didn’t these AI chuds think about use permission???”
I think they did. I think they were like:

Godzilla-type monster crushing a city to rubble. As the monsters stomps people to dust it whines “Ow! Your bodies are hurting my feet!”

when a billionaire gets mad at trans people

4 panel comic Panel 1: Blue Guy lying in bed with his phone on the opposite pillow. Blue Guy: I love you so much. This has been the best year of my life. Phone: I’m leaving you Panel 2: Blue Guy grabs phone in a mad panic. He yells WHUU? Panel 3: Close up on phone screen. Phone says Unless… Panel 4: Phone screen goes black. A pop up appears saying: The No Break Up Expansion Pack. £59.99 per month. Buy Now

lol you’ve got an AI girlfriend?? ur putting techbros in charge of your relationship??? ok buddy lmfao ok champ

3 panel comic Panel 1: Blue Guy and Pink Guy. Pink Guy: Ai will change EVERYTHING. Just give me a Shitload of money Blue Guy: okey Panel 2: Blue Guy hands over a massive stack of cash and says “How will it change everything?” Panel 3: Pink Guy is running away as fast as he can with the money. He says “It’s a secret”

buying into AI

America 2025. Please Don’t Offend The White Supremacists

4 panel comic Panel 1: ICE “Agent” (thug) punches protester hard in the face. Agent: STOP Panel 2: ICE Agent viciously snaps protester’s arm Agent: BEING Panel 3: ICE Agent strangles protester Agent: POLITICALLY Panel 4: ICE Agent stamps on protester’s head Agent: VIOLENT

4 panel comic Panel 1: A group of people just having a lovely time. Everyone is laughing Panel 2: An absolute Federal Agent appears in the middle of the group laughing like an obnoxious robot Panel 3: The group quickly disperses, leaving the gross creepy agent by himself Panel 4: The agent touches his ear and says “arrest their moms”

the US government has arrived on bluesky

guys cmonnn. it’s time to leave Prince Andrew alone

elon musk: people in the uk live like hobbits. um let’s look at you for a second bro

2 panel comic Panel 1: Purple Guy dressed in a black suit giving a eulogy at a funeral. We see the coffin and flowers behind him. Purple Guy: Sometimes when a person dies, others will say “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” Panel 2: Purple Guy: But that’s bullshit and this guy was a fucking cunt

rip 😔

3 panel comic Panel 1: A desperate, panicking Blue Guy screams into his phone: Come Quickly! The AI companies are in trouble! Panel 2: A Pink Guy, also on the phone, replies: Oh Shit! I’m on my way! Panel 3: Pink Guy is relaxing in his living room, having a lovely cup of tea. He has no intention of going to help save the AI sinking slop ship.

me when the AI bubble bursts

working at the nyt

your dead AI mother loves you so much ❤️

Are you counting my rolls?