zia

whatever . retail therapy

okay hear me out:
special edition box set: has the authors annotations (confirming my delusions)
velvet collectors edition: its black and velvet cover with extra scenes (nice to touch and pretty)
special edition of another series: bonus chapters....... (also pretty)

the temptation to drop sgd 600 on books...... ive been finding peace in books again and its been a really nice way to unwind in between explosions but now i want to collect special editions which is not nice (on my wallet)

also pulled one (1) omikuji (fortune slip) and it literally was like. yeah your life is kinda on the downward spiral right now, beware of everything . be cautious. life sucks but hold on.

which was weirdly validating LOL

ended up buying pokemon za there bcs it released while i was there and at donkihote it was 48sgd / 37 usd??? idk if ill have time to play and i hope google is right and i can change the language to eng LOL

wish i could say i had a 100% good time on my holiday but the emergencies were literally haunting me so i couldnt fully relax but i did enjoy myself!!!!!

YouTube video by zia Fool's Feast: Never Give Up (OC MAP)

[ No matter how hard we fall,
We will carry on,
And we will never give up. ]
✦ youtu.be/6zEbvR6hLlI ✦

A multi-animator project made to celebrate Fool's Feast Arc 1.
Thank you so much to all our Players!!
#FoolsFeastRP

im on page 22 of 258 .

wdym she's sneaking into her unfamily's house and making dinner by scooping out their trash and pretending she's sitting at the dining table with them. im going to EXPLODE

reading more and feeling sicker with each page .

i think its also that like. his pov is not in the books so a lot of it was me turning on my brain and inferring his thoughts and actions later. and then reading the extras and deleted scenes like wow he's a pathetic loser (fond)

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CRAZY I FEEL LIKE IM LOOKING INTO A PARALLEL UNIVERSE . MONA BUT NOT MONA ?!?!

BITING MY FIST

looking up at the ceiling

im only 5% into the book and i feel So Seen

i started reading the affiliated book set a few years after set in the same universe and . the protagonist is a feral girl raised in the wild . longing for her human family even though they cast her own while under a spell. shes guiltridden with i am unloveable its my faultisms thoughts? thats crazy

i think its very funny how i was pulled in because of murder and betrayal and plotting for the throne and defending the throne but the more i marinated on cardan over the days the more im going ohhhhh FUCK my stupid baka LIFE

ill get this out of my system soon once my slow marination and stages of grief is done im almost at the acceptance stage

“If you hurt me, I wouldn’t cry. I would hurt you back.”
“Father, I am what you made me. I’ve become your daughter after all.”
“Before, I never knew how far I would go. Now I believe I have the answer. I will go as far as there is to go.”
(SIGHING WISTFULLY) (BACK TO WORK FRFR)

(sighing) i miss writing pathetic characters stuck in the mud . need to write some begging and groveling stat

anyway. back to work .

and then on the other hand:
"Instead of being afraid, I could become something to fear."
"If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse."
"I do not yearn to be their equal. In my heart, I yearn to best of them."

stupid ass yearning lover boy moving castle howl wannabe wife guy moping about having a heart .

AND THESE GODDAMN LETTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSS MY STUPID BAKA LIFE

“It’s you I love, I spent much of my life guarding my heart. I guarded it so well that I could behave as though I didn’t have one at all. Even now, it is shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing. But it is yours."

"Yes, my sweet villain, my darling god." … "Sweet Jude. You are my dearest punishment."

"My sweet nemesis, how glad I am that you returned.”

“If you’re the sickness, I suppose you can’t also be the cure.”

im getting embarrassed posting on twitter but i cannot stop thinking about these quotes

“Mock me all you like. Whatever I imagined then, now it is I who would beg and grovel for a kind word from your lips." ... "By you, I am forever undone.”

:soggyham::shrieking: i htink im finally caught up with my urgent work deadlines...... i have to catch up on my nonurgent stuff + business trip for 2 weeks but WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE winning