nathan ☆

how does one even acquire mutuals anymore. where my oomfs at. i've been in hibernation idek if we're still calling each other that. like. where my friends at.

i'm writing again hehe i'm picking up a piece i started during the pandemic, so i'm kind of doing like a whole re-vamp and touching up the whole thing. right now it's like 18,000 words but its mostly like... notes n summaries n shit. but i haven't written anything in like 4 years so i think im rusty

heylo its nafan... i decided im gonna start using this thing maybe. i miss being on social media and i kinda dropped off the earth for like 2 years sdfsdjhf i was just sad tbh but im better now hehe

a cat is standing next to a toilet in a bathroom next to a litter box . ALT: a cat is standing next to a toilet in a bathroom next to a litter box .

i accepted a job offer today!! im an admin assistant starting next monday!! ✨️

ive learned that anything can happen in this life one day u have a great job w/ enough disposable income to give away binders, the next day ur fired bc of ur he/they pronouns in ur email signature.

the only one you can truly rely on is yourself, the one thing you can count on is your skills. 🫡

im even thinking it might be a better idea to learn how to sew binders and teach others how to do it as well. you never know what kind of hurdles trans youth will face in the next few years - perhaps learning a skill like creating your own gender affirming gear will be more helpful? (c)

and seeing that we only bring in about $25 - $30 a month, it's very difficult to justify operating at the rate we were before. when we were fundraising $300-$500 a month it was possible to get through 20+ applicants. now, not so much. 😔 there's tons of hurdles, basically. (c)

starting up morebinders activities again feels like so much more added stress. im considering starting up activities in june-august possibly but i really need more volunteers this time, its a lot of work for just myself, nicolette, and my partner to do. its also real expensive too. (c)

but i havent had an income in a couple weeks. i have savings but i dont want to keep eating into them. i really do want to get back to working on morebinders but i think im honestly feeling really overwhelmed. i already feel anxious and scared but on top of that the idea of (c)

anyway we just moved back home after my partners mum passed and we're still organizing her parents house and of course its a slow process. i havent even gotten to unpacking my own stuff because it takes up so much room so i dont even know where the binders are atm. im still applying for jobs, (c)

to give away FREE things means im scamming right? 🙄 i ended up being able to drop off that binder to that woman specifically even tho canadapost was striking bc a friend happened to be driving out that way for the holidays which is kind of like rewarding bad behaviour but whatever. 🙄 (c)

and everytime something happened, i felt so terrible for not being able to work on things. i had one lady that just relentlessly berated me and called me bad person for moving slow. even called me a scammer - bc not having the physical or financial requirements (c)

may be more cost effective to manufacture the damn things and just distribute/sell them through the program, but then i got busy with school/work. everytime i found some free time to get some work done, something major always happened. specifically, moving. in 2 years i've had to move 5 times. (c)

morebinders rant incoming //

its been really hard to get back into work for morebinders over the last two years. ive been holding onto about 150 binders hoping that gc2b will start up their 2b.care program again so i can keep distributing binders, but they never did. then i thought that it (c)

we went to the moma for valentines day 🥰

i hope so she was so rude 😠 piss me off mannnn

i fucking hate my bank so much 😒 always fucking w me i need to switch man

called TD, confirmed my name to the rep, and she didn't believe me or try to verify me and when I told her I was trans she just went nope-nope-nope and hung up - went all fucking karen and called back asking for the supervisor, that shit was Fucked Up

i passed my CAPM exam!!! hehe i am now a certified project management associate 🤓

Would prolly feel better if I actually get the job though 😏 LOL

recovering from health issues for an extended period of time if I was underqualified. Insulting my experience and skills and belittling me is a common thing he does, though. But now being considered for this position really feels like tangible proof that I'm good at what I do. Feels good. 🥲

This is also just a small thing too, it's not the biggest thing, but when I lost my job, my old boss made it sound to everyone that the only reason I was being paid that much was because I was family. It's true that we're family, but I wouldn't have been able to run the business while he was (c)

But yeah, talking about community events I've done, wellness events I've worked on either through hiking programs or creatively, all of that kind of came together to get this interview. I don't know if I'm going to get it but I think being considered for it has been making me feel real valued. 🥲

I used to help out this guy that owned the convenience store near my house paint easter eggs, animals, and cartoon wooden cutouts for community scavenger hunts and place them around town AHAHA he'd give me a bunch of cutouts and be like "I need you to to paint Blastoise and Pikachu by Friday🗿" LOL

I told her about a few different ideas, some of them being just examples of things I've done either in my free time or at my last job. She seemed happy when I was talking later offhand about a few things I used to do around the community, one of them being (this is kinda silly LOL)

another position that I applied for. I said yes because it pays significantly more than the first one I interviewed for, and it seems really fun. It's a community wellness coordinator! The question that dept head asked me was about what kinds of wellness programming I'd like to see in the community.

practice for them (kind of felt like a stress test LOL) but I thought it was pretty fun! I'm never really too nervous about interviews. I always leave feeling like I just bragged about myself for a half hour. Today, one of the department heads that sat in asked if I'd like to be interviewed for (c)

So I applied to like 7 jobs in different departments of the same organization and I got an interview for one of them pretty much the next day. I get to the interview and there were three other department heads sitting in, and they each asked one extra question. I don't know if that's standard (c)

damn I didn't think anything would stop me from seeing 2ne1 live, nvm 2ne1 and gdragon... but the thought of going to LA stresses me out... we're even gonna sell our smtown tickets cuz we're too nervous to go now 😞

I've been trying to keep up with news but I feel insecure the dark about a lot of things still. I'm trying not to feel afraid but I am. I'm scared about election stuff coming up. when we bought these tickets we were so excited to go. now I just feel nervous about everything.