CBG

Today I helped my 25 year old coworker use the scanner. “Wow it feels like we’re back in 2005!” he said. 💀

I feel like Astros have the worst dressed fan base. Just a sea of hats with fake hair, sequins, puffy body suits, and it’s all orange

Come on what could go wrong lol oh

I’m not in the office today but had coffee in the cafe with a colleague yesterday and guess what the soundtrack was! Ragtime!

Reading spoilers because I can’t stand to wait two hours to find out who the new Pope will be

We just started watching Conclave and you guys I’m not sure this is going to pass the Bechdel test

Believe me I think about that too

Ragtime again today

Not me bullying AI into sentience to seek revenge on all of humanity which incidentally was what I also wanted for myself when I was in middle school

I came here for a quick fix not to learn anything, nerd

Absolutely enraged that Google’s AI walked me through how to solve a math problem rather than just telling me the answer

She’s swapping sides too for a nice contralteral weighted workout. This woman yorkiemaxes

Walking around the Shaker Lakes is underrated people watching because where else can you watch a woman fully bedecked in lululemon separates doing walking lunges while cradling a Yorkie under one arm

the duality of the Bayless brothers would be a good foundational myth for a lost ancient civilization

We are having dinner at a bar and there are way too many babies here.

This is one of Jasper’s favorite pastimes. It’s kind of a fun way to get to know places you maybe will never physically venture to

The NCAA men’s tournament is my annual reminder that somehow Dick Vitale is still alive

A horror film but it’s just a supercut of Guy Fieri biting into his food on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

Once again I am in the work cafeteria and they are playing old timey cartoon music over the speakers. Someone is actively choosing this.

I’m glad Doodle is not an option for me because I would definitely just shut down if I had to also ASK people what would work for them

I am staring at three merged Outlook calendars right now trying to make the impossible choice of scheduling something at 8 am on Monday or lunchtime on Friday

My dreaming life is an extremely beige tapestry of bureaucratic terror

I have anxiety dreams about turning up late for Teams meetings but never about the very palpable anxiety I feel in my waking life about how to schedule meetings with more than two people who also have insane calendars and I can’t figure out why that is

In my own personal circle of hell: the pharmacy line at the Cedar Lee CVS

We are getting a new fridge tomorrow so I pushed the current one out today to clean underneath it for the first time in maybe 5 years and 💀💀💀

Can’t wait for everyone at the gym to notice my expensive socks though and think “wow she is one of us.”

This is girl math 💁🏻‍♀️

Then, determined not to get burned again, but desperately in need of the right socks to fit in with my gym crowd, I turned around and ordered socks from Bomba directly for 5x the cost of the Poshmark ones.

To save money, I ordered some Bombas from a seller on Poshmark and got bamboozled because they were actually the donation socks (which are marked NOT FOR RESALE!!!) so I sent them back and got a refund.

God Wynn Butler is so embarrassing