Tom

Having one of those days where you can’t tell whether everyone else is an idiot or I have somehow forgotten how to read

Some interesting things happening despite the jobless period being seemingly endless

Really captured some old twitter magic here

The Guardian proving that investigative journalism is alive and well

Just realised the last time I used this was before I got married. Had to update my display name and shit

Gonna take a crack at bibimbap later. Reckon Aldi sells Gochujang?

Incredible posting

Dude I literally worked in the Cardinal Catheter labs in UHW and we saw a couple of these sorts of things a year. Just enough to give you the fear before you fall asleep

Why do people just stand on those flat escalators at airports? Do they not know that if you walk on them they get a speed boost like in Mario Kart?

Booked busses to Heathrow for our flights. Simultaneously relieved at having the task completed and horrified that another obstacle between me and work has been removed

Seems like it’s just another “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” attitude from a studio which thinks it’s too big to fail 🤷

I would love to agree with you but I haven’t played the game. I saw that it was running on the same old engine and decided to give it a pass. The best game Bethesda ever made was Morrowind and I will die on that hill

Fuck this heat. It has no right

I keep putting this on my Christmas list but no luck yet :(

The suit guy told me to stop cycling. Buddy the closest I’ve been to a bike in the last 5 years is the one my Deliveroo rider uses to bring me KFC

Back to the suit place to get final measurements and yet again find myself wearing trousers which cannot accommodate my MASSIVE CALVES

They’re called geodes

Has there ever been a point in time where meteorologists were more reliable than astrologists? I’m bored of rain when Met Office says no rain

Slush puppy flavour squash is a gamechanger

Nice seeing the twitter folk slowly migrate like rats from a sinking ship

Cori received two phone calls this morning from some window salesman and I’ve just looked over her shoulder to see her drafting an email with the subject “please leave me alone”