Neff

So I have some bots for sale at tfn. Happy to bring them.

Gigapower dinobots. Grimlock £120 and snarl £120 all fine with all their bits.

Swoop £150 comes with a stand that's missing one small part and had damage that was there new out of the box.

Back in my day, those things were called mitigated imperatives, and they were well-understood as meaning "you will do this this is not a question, I am simply phrasing it nicely to pretend you have a choice".

Also, been back at work for one shift, and oh, how I fucking hate permissive parenting disguised as gentle parenting. Absolutely hate it. Nothing I despise more than hearing an adult say to a three year old "do you want to try this?" instead of giving them an instruction, and actually accept "no"

Today, wouldn't even look at me. Not even a good morning, not even an acknowledgement of me existing.

And it wouldn't get to me if we'd never had a friendship, but because we did... I miss her. And I feel hurt, and like I need to fix it, and it just sucks.

Fuck being afab and AuDHD.

One of the coworkers today, last summer we made each other friendship bracelets, she came to my house, I put a hair wrap in her hair. Then it all just... stopped being friendly. I think because I couldn't back her up on petty grievances with other staff members, because I hate needless drama.

I tried to just go to work, do my job, speak to no one, and they were all like "why don't you ever come sit with us and talk to us?" So then I did, but the 'friendships' are so two faced and backstabbing, and I'm just like... You're adults. Grow up, get over it, stop acting like babies.

My lifeguards asked me how I was. The parents of kids I taught asked how I was. The two coworkers I worked alongside this morning didn't even look at me, never mind speak to me.

I wish this shit didn't get to me. I wish I didn't desperately want to be liked. And I tried when I started working there

The fact that ai art and writing programs are built on stolen work really seems to be fading from the discussion even amongst artists and writers, which is a bit shit.

I think it would be different if I thought even one person was happy I was coming back. If just one person was like "yay, Neff! I've missed getting to teach near you, this is great!" then I might not feel so disheartened about it all.

But I honestly think my colleagues don't want me back. It hurts.

Me being the only queer one doesn't help, either. Essentially no one respects my pronouns except my manager, so I'm misgendered constantly. Obviously I don't care about the kids or their parents using my pronouns, but my coworkers should fucking bother. I've been there a couple of years now.

I will routinely say that my job, the actual work, is great. It's just everything around it that I hate. And I know it's because I'm autistic, and have ADHD, and sometimes I do stuff people don't like - but I'll always apologise. I'm always willing to learn and grow, and make amends at work.

This is pretty much how work always feels for me, and I hate it. I love my actual work, hanging out with my classes of kids I teach to swim, but my coworkers are a mystery to me. If I don't go and sit with them before shifts, I'm antisocial and not nice, if I do sit with them, I'm awkward and weird

Heading back to work tomorrow after being off sick since March. My manager put a thing on the group chat wishing me well for my return and congratulating a colleague for an achievement at work.

Four people have replied congratulating the other colleague. Not a single person has welcomed me back.

Got woken up from my dream by someone whispering "Neff! Neff!!"

No one else was in the room, but the kitten was wrapped around my head. I looked at her and said "if you've started talking, you can start learning to keep your damn mouth shut."

That vertical one looks like a camel?!

A round-topped robot with slim, jointed arms and legs holding a cuboid box of tablets in both hands and frowning at it. The box says "BRAIN MEDICINE" on it and has a little illustration of two tablets.

326) Pillbot. Can determine with over 64% accuracy which end of the pack of pills to open so you don't get the folded-over directions *again*. #SmallRobotsRemastered

Emmett Till memorial shot up with bullets

People with guns proudly posing in front of the Emmett Till memorial shot up with bullets

A bulletproof Emmett Till memorial. Riddled with bullet dents.

All I think about when I hear people say that it’s bad taste to dance on Hulk Hogan’s grave is that Emmett Till’s monument had to be replaced with a 500lb steel bulletproof monument because white people simply won’t stop riddling it with bullets. So now it just has tons of dents. From bullets.

I... could not guess what that was, other than cursed.

When I find out who on our local council approved 8.20am as an acceptable start time for what sounds like chainsaw work, which has been going on every day for the past two months, I shall hex them to never again find the cheese they want in the supermarket, and always have to wait at traffic lights.

Yeah, my wife gave me the news and I was like "hell of an innings" and have just been singing snatches of his songs since. What a guy.

A small calico kitten lounges on a blue-green pillow next to someone's sleeping head. The kitten is in a classic "draw me like one of your French girls" pose, and is languidly licking her own armpit to show maximum insouciance. She lies next to a Google Nest mini, for scale.

Oh, and the day I realised @iwriteok.bsky.social and @socialistdogmom.bsky.social had broken me is when we found out the kitten's birthday is April 19th and I went "Oklahoma City bombing. And Waco." and got very odd looks from my spouse.

I did suggest calling her Timmy, but we went with Starbuck.

So, the new kitten shares my pillow. It's adorable, obviously.

But I draw the line at when I lie down, gently moving her so I have enough space for my head, and digs all her claws into my skull and bites my face for daring to put my head on her bed.

Listen, brat, this is my damn pillow!

Yet another article about long covid that does mention the severity - “people get exhausted walking to the mailbox” - AND the increased risk of reinfections - but not the word masking, not the words air filtration, not the word airborne.

Talking about my PIP in the car with my parents and hearing them say they've had arguments with people about it, and said "you don't understand, you're one incident away from being disabled" and "you can't know how impossible it is to do things when you have poor mental health".

They're trying.

Hi @wwf.org.uk, please keep sending Gui to HyperJapan (if he wants)! He always gets donations out of us because it's such a pleasure to talk to someone who is so genuinely enthusiastic about his cause, so knowledgeable, willing to let me cuddle a pangolin statue, and just an awesome dude.

Americans willing to compromise on trans rights to get a supposedly electable Democratic candidate to oust the fash at all costs should probably be aware that we did that in the UK with Starmer's Labour, and they - as predicted - turned out to be authoritarian transphobes once in power.

I have this on, because ADHD means otherwise I forget!

Oh man, I'm so sorry, but this is going to be excellent for changing the subject at my mum's birthday from when I'm going to lose weight and whether my wife's estranged family want to buy the other half of our house.

Small complaint. Smaller than the kitten.
More hair washing needed.

Once more, I wish I could draw. Maybe I'll try to convince someone else to draw it and then attempt to embroider it and send it off to @coolzonemedia.bsky.social , who knows. Though I feel like an embroidered sausage dog would be a better Molly gift.