🥀ורד

🕯גוט שבמ🕯

thats something to cherish, because you dont have that forever with everything. eventually things can become routine or habitual, and then we have to try to have that awe again. remember it.

oh yes plenty to be said about trust. hmm. we cant be appropriately "careful" if we dont have awe about what we are doing, but it slips back into the crude fear out of lack of trust. we have to trust the awe and accept that we will make mistakes, but thats part of the journey too.

oh that too! when given honors, it's like, yes thank you this makes me happy, but it also involves fear. but maybe "fear" in the יראה sense, as an awe. theres so much profound about it. chassidus kinda says that actual fear in itself isnt 'good', but its a space where awe can form, and from it, joy

i desire to sleep with another too, but i cant guarantee this, and it sometimes sounds unrealistic. i dont like to preoccupy my mind with speculatives because it puts me into panic spirals. and i care too much about others, often before myself, because i am miserable if only for myself.

does the cynicism include yourself?

that anxious space between obligation and joy

Home Alone was a crucial part of my childhood(also first exposure to Trump). wait wasnt she also in Beetlejuice?

Man sitting in a chair with his hands up, saying “and I took that personally”

me: “it’s impossible for me to practice religion in an apolitical framework at this time”
rando’s who have no idea who they’re talking to, who in theory have the same hopes for the world as I do:

and NEXT shabbos is going to be one of the most important of my tshuvah, because of a certain ceremony for me the day before ;)

and thus guest lets me actually share the hospitality of the shabbos dinner as its meant to be. instead of also tonight, i can go to shul for shacharis as i do, especially since its a fun parsha this time.

switched back to the standard banner just because i felt the other one looked too threatening. its cool, but im afraid of presenting a demeanor or vibe that is too aggressive. im passionate about what i care about but im really not all like that.

fuck a friend is coming over on shabbos YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. i gotta make sure i cook for them and... oh dear hospitality mode kicking in

i dont often talk about all internal studies or interests all the time. occasionally. but for example some religious topics most dont care about, or are uncouth to share with outsiders, or only others understand. for intersectional politics, i simply dont always have a "voice" for it iyk what i mean

as a jewish anarchist with research into jewish anarchist movements, i would also like hearing about islamic anarchism, and how they might intersect. share what you come across if you will.

inspecting the hooman reading this 🫵

you make me insane by osmosis you have a corruptuous miasma its a love/hate relationship

that is true

yeah existing is pretty cool imo. then again i cant remember not existing.

i try to actually disengage from her but unfortunately🙄 she triggered a debate that immediately gives me things to want to say because its a primary thing i have worked with my entire life.
but yeah arguing/fighting is obnoxious.

no see its definitionally idolatry in my religion to deify shapes/images. it states very bluntly G-d has no form or flesh or blood.

told? by what? what authority does it have.

ive had NDEs but ofc i am theistic but you cant point at it or imagine it. every concept is an idol.
so we can "make up" G-d in a sense thats what an idol is.
or say, the weird idea of the "demiurge". that which encloses to form/created, not G-d

no yeah its really interesting to think about how a theology affects one's social constructions. i thought the thing here was talking about plurality, like headmates and such!

that is to say, that to enclose yourself to one self and to say all else is not your self is to reject 'the deity' as you put it

yeah i think what rubs me the wrong way about it as a monotheist is that the point to me is self cannot be seen as its own unity separate/distinct from other. but a "polytheism" in this case posits distinct others that somehow arise independently.

goodnight pisseater wingcauldron

noone can prove i was teasing

I only hate evil. not objects/people, that is evil.

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