psychesemantic

my mother wrote a book on transference/counter transference so i feel like i was born for the kendra event

learned I can do muscle ups through my window this way once

had a cool dream where we all went back to my woodsy college campus and we were all young again but with our memories and past experiences intact. and we had chocolate pastries.

no fr lol

current Rx: gangsta rap and exercise. if imma be dizzy anyfuckingway

he said it’s normal for my heart rate to be above resting when i sleep because of REM. i know that’s not true. he ordered seroquel, which raises hr and is associated with cardiac problems. which is why I stopped taking it ten years ago.

had GP appt today. he doesn’t remember my ENT copied him on my tests. he told me all the meds making me worse make ppl dizzy anyway. i said they never have before April 4. he said “inner ear” I said “the ENT and neurologist don’t think it’s inner ear.”

had temp crown placed yesterday. too short- my bite doesn’t close on it. my tongue is getting really raw against the jagged space and I can’t keep it out bc it’s a gap. the assistant was in a hurry to get to a party. she told me. i ordered dental wax

i am so far inside the medical gaslight my wings are burnt. my GP today asked if id seen an ENT or neurologist yet.

I am so out.

need a spell to ward off evil eye hmu

word what if I think Music Factory

Restoril doesn’t actually help me at all but I’m still glad it exists

yeah weren’t they first

incidentally i have a sore on my gum from the root canal retractor that has somehow spawned a mucocele (fluid filled cyst) directly opposite on the lower lip and both hurt like blazes and make speaking/eating hurt too. had to talk too much at MRI place and to doctors. neverending.

coping

truly. 💜

it feels personal ngl i know it’s not but

for reference, the offending nickel-titanium bit is outlined in yellow. I have these X-rays of course but there’s no radiologist to read them at the outpost i visited. infuckingfuriating.

like i want to make sure i don’t have MS and am not missing taking crucial corticosteroids to soothe my flares is that not fucking okay with the fucking universe or something

now they are making me contact the ordering doc to ORDER AN X-RAY at their facility to prove it’s ok but not the one i was just at bc that one doesn’t do xray

you guys aren’t gonna believe this but they refused to do it. bc a tiny piece of drill bit broke off in my gum during my root canal and I stupidly answered honestly on the form

thank you!!

i wonder how fast before i get to see pictures. they said i can get a CD copy right away. i have had a few MRIs in my lifetime, but no one’s ever shown me the images. it’s like a blind date with my own brain.

MYTH INC series by Robert Asprin- oldie but goodie

it’s MRI day

on a 10th dentist note, I’m getting all this downy facial hair in my late 40s and I genuinely don’t mind a bit. it sparkles in the light lol

a stunningly clean midcentury/outdated double sink bathroom with oval mirrors, a collection of decorative tiki mugs along its wrap around counter, and assorted normal toilette instruments

the bathroom in question

i can still GET it if I pay OOP lmfao

last week insurance said MRI this Friday was authorized; today MRI place called to say it’s not

i was/am in the middle of cleaning my bathroom which I already hate and am close to walking away from the thing half done

just to show them

watching:
Anthony Bourdain-Cook’s Tour

The Pitt

War of the Worlds starring Ice Cube