PROOFREADING HULK

Two CBP Agents Identified in Alex Pretti Shooting The two federal immigration agents who fired on Minneapolis protester Alex Pretti are identified in government records as Border Patrol agent Jesus Ochoa and Customs and Border Protection officer Raym...

BREAKING: The two federal immigration agents who fired on Minneapolis protester Alex Pretti are identified in government records as Border Patrol agent Jesus Ochoa and Customs and Border Protection officer Raymundo Gutierrez.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JOURNALISTS, STOP SAYING “ACCORDING TO PEOPLE FAMILIAR.”

FAMILIAR TO WHO?

FIXED THAT FOR YOU, @NYTIMES.COM.

EVEN *THESE* PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THEY ARE CONSPIRACY *THEORIES*? WHAT HAPPENED TO EDITORIAL STANDARDS AT FACTOID BOOKS?

HULK SIGH.

HULK LOVE HOW PEOPLE CALL TRUMP STUPID FOR CLAIMING HE WILL REDUCE HEALTH CARE PRICES BY SIX HUNDRED PERCENT AND OTHERS SAY “I AGREE ONE THOUSAND PERCENT”

NOT SURE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CONSPIRACY AND A CONSPIRACY THEORY? REMEMBER: PARTICIPATING IN A CONSPIRACY CAN GET YOU CHARGED WITH A CRIME. SPREADING CONSPIRACY THEORIES, ON OTHER HAND, CAN GET YOU FOLLOWERS.

HULK LOVE THIS STORY. 1. EVEN THE GREATS MAKE MISTAKES. 2. HULK LOVE NEWSPAPER HAVING FUN WITH ƎSSIꓕⱯW IN HEADLINE. 3. HULK LOVE THAT PAPER MADE A TYPO IN ARTICLE POINTING OUT A MISTAKE. ISN’T IT IRONIC!

New York Post headline: Nearly a million New Yorkers ready to flee NYC if Mamdani becomes mayor - possibly igniting largest exododus in history: poll

You laugh, but this is how the exododus went extinct

A New Jersey Republican get out the vote mailer has a misspelling. It reads: the clock is ticking to stop New Jersery Democrats

OH, NEW JERSERY REPURBLICANS.

HULK LOOK FORWARD TO YORGOS LANTHIMOS’ #BUGONIA BUT HULK QUESTION TAGLINE. HULK ASSUME CHARACTERS OBSESSED WITH CONSPIRACY *THEORIES*.

EVEN IN WRITING, ANDREW CUOMO REFUSES TO CORRECTLY SPELL NAME OF NEXT NEW YORK MAYOR, @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social. SO OFFENSIVE.

REMEMBER: A BUSINESS DOES NOT “SHUTTER ITS DOORS,” JUST AS YOU WOULD NOT PUT SHUTTERS ON TOP OF DOORS. IT CLOSES ITS DOORS OR IT SHUTTERS. PICK ONE.

DID YOU SCREW UP TODAY? DID IT GO OUT TO ENTIRE EMAIL LIST?

THREAT OF NUCLEAR WAR—WHATEVER. COMMA SPLICE? TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

MAGA CANDIDATE MIKE COLLINS, IN PEACH STATE, LITERALLY CANNOT SPELL GEORGIA.

A neo-Nazi hacked Mamdani's gmail account and sent us several emails he wrote. They were littered with mistakes like "tow the line" and "for all intensive purposes."

A text message asks “Hey, are you occupied with anything today?” but “anything” is spelled a-n-y-t-h-e-y-n-g

SIGH. THESE SPAMMERS AREN’T EVEN TRYEYNG!

HULK NO HABLO ESPAÑOL. ARE COMMA SPLICES AGAINST THE RULES IN SPANISH TOO?

HULK SIGH.

WHY HULK SO OFTEN HEAR PEOPLE SAY THINGS LIKE “THE UNIVERSE OF [PEOPLE WHO WORK IN THIS FIELD] IS VERY SMALL”? WE HAVE OTHER WORDS THAN UNIVERSE FOR THINGS THAT ARE SMALL! UNIVERSE IS INFINITELY LARGE! BY VERY DEFINITION! AS FIGURE OF SPEECH, VERY SILLY.

REMEMBER, FOLKS: IT’S MARTIAL LAW TRUMP IS DYING TO DECLARE. NOT MARSHALL LAW. NO SUCH THING. @merriam-webster.com

HULK PREFER SELTZER WITH SEEDS, BUT IT HARD TO FIND.

REMEMBER: UNLESS GOING *BACKWARD* IS OPTION, YOU NEVER HAVE TO SAY “GOING FORWARD” AGAIN. GUEST ON NPR SAY TRUMP-HARVARD CONFLICT WILL HAVE NATIONAL CONSEQUENCES GOING FORWARD. WELL, WHAT OTHER DIRECTION COULD CONSEQUENCES GO?

Rhode Islander ticked off by unfortunate typo on Trump watch A mistake on a piece of official Donald Trump merchandise might be funny to some.

“WE EXPECTED THAT IT WOULD HAVE THE INTEGRITY OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,” SAYS BRAIN-DEAD BUYER OF TRUMP WATCH, TURNED INTO *RUMP* WATCH BY A TYPO. JOKE’S ON HIM. IT DOES. turnto10.com/i-team/trump...

THIS COMMA DOING A LOT OF WORK HERE.

US philanthropists warn against capitulating to Trump: ‘We need to step up’ Foundation leaders say charitable organisations could be next in the firing line – but must ‘stand together’ to resist

NICE @theguardian.com ARTICLE ABOUT PHILANTHROPIES RESISTING TRUMP. HULK PRETTY SURE TRUMP NOT SEEKING TO “INTIMATE” THE FREE PRESS, THOUGH. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

GUY CAN’T EVEN GET A TWEET RIGHT AND HE SUPPOSED TO KEEP US SAFE? HULK SIGH.

FASCINATING STORY BY @CARLZIMMER.COM IN @NYTIMES ABOUT POSSIBLE EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE! ZIMMER MEAN ANALOGUE HERE, THOUGH, NOT ANALOG.