Iced Natty Latte

Can't wait to get to get called bigoted in 20 years for saying clanker with a hard r as a flesh haver.

Using pizza sauce as salad dressing

Homer Simpson was wrong you can't simply exchange money for goods and services anymore.

Based on the migration patterns of ice I'm gonna go ahead say the median age gotta be above 60

MFs listen to DIY but can't actually do anything themselves

Hate the funk pop/fortnitilization of everything

Fortnite is just virtual Funko pops

Chino is the superior Moreno

Me drumming very off beat: i call this technique the Geiger counter

Nightmare before pissmass is the name of my power violence album

Vote dommy mommy for Mayor of New york

What's the business equivalent of come at me bro

I'm pretty sure Tarantino died and was reincarnated as our cat

Andy cizek is collecting the infinity stones of dead post hardcore bands.

Replacing all the huh's in all music with hyucks

I'm the human equivalent of a golden retriever

The amount of people who think following someone is an endorsement of them is infuriating

Marriage is between one man and one woman where at least one party has been divorced no less than two times.

It's bussy sprout season

Sweating nervously at the Maha function when I realized I accidentallyus3d all the seed oils combined into one instead of beef tallow.

Every baseball player is canonically homosexual

I have a problem where I obsess over projects for perfection I can't achieve, and just never post it.

Reality is so passé

The party that exists because of bread and circuses really wants to get rid of circuses and bread.

Just remember if someone tells you to read theory instead of doing something productive they're an obnoxious overly online cunt

New business strategy:
Candles that smell like when you put a candle out

Accomplished a life goal yesterday now to get the time down.

If I was the president I'd simply make no re-entry shows illegal

The thing about my car payment every month is it feels like I just paid it the other day.

It's not