Don Kiddick

🤣

I'm sure I've seen a film recently depicting almost exactly this.

I'm sat here watching the steady stream of posts on social media. The anger and frustration from both sides. I see how polarised America has become. Far more so than the UK and we have our challenges.

I wonder if I'm going to wake up one morning and see the headline "US descends into Civil War".

To be honest, if you change your name to "Jihad", that really ought to flag up with the authorities that you might be a fucking "wrong un".

Or maybe I'm just being super cautious.

My wife says we would call that a Bunting in the UK. I know nothing. I just like the pictures.

I thought it looked odd.
But like missing eyebrows, hard to pinpoint beyond the fact that something isn't right.

This is what happens when we let the kids out on their own. A couple of centuries and they go and elect a pillock like Trump.
What can I say? 🤣

I absolutely hate that place. Happy to go out of my way to avoid it.
Must have been something not right with the town planners. I blame drugs.

Judging by the swearing and his rather striking "Yeti" look when he stumbled out of the door, I would be willing to take that bet.

A mobile dog groomer started business near me and offered to do my Husky to help promote his services.
It was hilarious. He opened the door when he finished and it looked like a snow globe inside.
That was the last Husky he did.

It won't actually make you live any longer. It will just feel like it.

I'd consider that a win.

Just tried to vote but unfortunately, there's a geographical issue.
I need to be in Australia.

The first rule of passive aggressive club is...

You know what, nevermind, it's fine.

I've always known them as a "Polypocket"

The car has been acquired by someone on motability because of fibromyalgia

We don’t shop there much but when we do..🤣

Your comments always make me smile. So, like a good husband, I read them out to the wife in the hope of sharing my amusement.

She just looks at me with a straight face and asks if I'm 5.

A friend of mine has recently had a heart thingy installed. It works as a pace-maker and is capable of working as a limited defibrillator.

Now, I'm not the kind of guy to joke about this but I have wondered if he's now immortal. Or one step away from becoming an unstoppable terminator.

Noooo. Cheese is sacred. No additions. No funny flavours. No colours (other than yellow or yellow and blue veined).
End of.

I never planned any of mine. But you manage. You find a way and make all necessary sacrifices.

Brilliant

📱replaced:

📟 ☎️ 📠 💽 💾 💻
⏰ 📷 📹 🎥 📺 📻
📰 💿 💳 💼 📎 📄
⏳ 🔦 📼 📚 ⌚️ 🎮
📓 ✏️ 📁 🎤 📇 📆
🎰 💵 📬 📝 🆘 🏧
🎫 ✉️ 📤 ✒️ 📊 📋
🔎 🔑 📣 🎼 🎬 📀
📒⌨️🕹🎙⏱📿🗝
📇🗄📁📋🗂✉️⌨️

My missus is totally into history.
Well, she's always dragging up the past.

Pun of the Day!
Does incorrect autocorrect count as a pan? (I mean "pen", no, "pin", no, "bun", no...)
#Joke #Pun #Wordplay

Here in the UK, we kinda have only two seasons nowadays.
The rainy season. Then monsoon season.

As much as I think Musk is a dick, I still admire his contributions to technology.
The success of these rockets will eventually further the whole of mankind.

Are you UP yet? Morning wake up call from hungry cats! 😾

Happy birthday. Amazing work!