My 6th grader started working in the school store. I said, “Excellent. Seize the means of production. Power to the worker.” But on his 1st day, he called out to the masses: “Who here does not have money?” And proceeded to kick out everyone who raised their hand. 😕

My son said there weren’t many ppl who preferred Dr Alan Grant over Ian Malcolm. I responded: “Well, they’re both emotionally unavailable Science Daddies.” And now he won’t talk to me about movies anymore…

My kids are making a list of potential replacements for their father, for some reason. So far it’s been “guy from BK commercial,” “Capital One guy” & LeBron James. Then my 11 year old says, “or the fox from Zootopia.” FINALLY a serious contender..

New #catchphrase dropped. I was talking about a room project when I accidentally said it’ll take “2 pains of can’t.”.

*Tom

HMO: The Great Muppet Gatsby. Pedro Pascal in the titular role, Miss Piggy as Daisy, Kermit as Nick, Fozzi as Tim (who in this version is just really focused on his comedy career). And it’s a billboard of Animal’s eyes…

Hey if you’re GenX or Millenial & you want to rage-remember the grape-culture frenzy of the late 90s, there’s a doc on Peacock about Girls Gone Wild…bring something to punch…(preferably that sh!tf**k Joe Francis)

30 minute naps take about an hour #wisdomat50 #postmidlife #womenintheir50s #perimenopauseclub

Thank you. I was wondering if anybody else was going to bring up The Saint.

I just overheard my tween & teen boys say goodbye to each other before school, & “I love you!” in emphatic, silly voices & I feel like that is anti-fascist, in its own way. That’s def not happening in Elon’s mornings. Or DT’s, or JD’s. They’ll never have that. So they win NOTHING. Good day, sir!

Image of Annoying Orange from 90s/2ks YouTube & top text reads: Millenial Parents: Skibidi Toilet is so dumb. Bottom text: Millenial Parents as Kids…

The Father of Brain Rot…

Somebody stole my little Harris 4 President sign off my lawn on Jan 6th. I guess it was like their own personal Tiny Desk Insurrection…

I requested a copy of The Communist Manifesto to my local college bookstore around Christmastime. They got it in for me, & I purchased it. Yesterday they called me to tell me my order was in. I explained that it must have been a duplicate order. But now they have it in stock…excellent….

So if you have multiple titles that begin in numbers, do you put those in numerical order then?

In the T’s or I’m out