Howie’s Everything Club

Let’s do it

Embarrassing

Big dam energy

“In My Next Life I Would Like to be a River Otter,” She says But a next life is no guarantee Let alone as your Chosen creature. Safer is to live like an otter Today. Play in the streams Dive Intertwine yourself with a loved one On a riverbank Bask in the sun Nap Enjoy a fresh-caught trout Frolic And if your dream comes true What luck You will be practiced.

Scandal: the boxcar children only lived in a boxcar for one book and the next 160 books were about rich kids solving mysteries

The guy who was so mad that someone else proposed a better idea than him for rescuing children that he called him a pedophile. That was sane Elon

Hey Sweetie There’s a bedgraggled and bedheaded Baby chickadee, markings diffuse Right outside my home office window. Chickadee babies look like proper tits at two weeks As ready to live as any of us But they are also so new at this. This one has a lot to learn And little time to learn it. It is born into a perilous world and time. Me too, chickadee. This is also my first time on Earth. -Matt Howard

Every Recipe Lies About Onions | Howie’s Everything Club Get more from Howie’s Everything Club on Patreon

I read poems I’ve written on Patreon. That’s funny, right? They’re free

www.patreon.com/posts/136323...

I asked ChatGPT to call the cutie store and no one knew you lol. But then I went to the cutie store myself and everyone knew you. What ChatGPT actually did was call the same Qdoba location 15 times and make outrageous threats against the employees that fell just short of actionability

And video closed captions will always interpret it as "essay"

In the 90s we were told in school that we needed to save water and energy and at the time I thought it was to save the planet on which we depend but only now do I realize we were saving it all to be wasted on the worst technology in history. I wish I’d done the slip and slide more

Sonia Kleindorfer, Lyanne Brouwer, Mark E. Hauber, Niki Teunissen, Anne Peters, Marina Louter, Michael S. Webster, Andrew C. Katsis, Frank J. Sulloway, Lauren K. Common, Victoria I. Austin and Diane Colombelli-Négrel
The American Naturalist, Volume 203, Number 2

Source: Nestling Begging Calls Resemble Maternal Vocal Signatures When Mothers Call Slowly to Embryos

“You made this bed now you have to lie in it.”
Lie in bed hell yeah don’t mind if I do

Am I a muscle because i feel targeted rn

I think people would be more likely to stay in a job they loved and were good at if they had breathing room but hell I only minored in economics

Art of Doubt was my introduction and has a special place in my heart but Fantasies probably is their perfect album

We need to start calling them “conspiracy hypotheses” when they’re garbage, because theories in real science are backed by evidence and this one has evidence as hell

Tiny Tim is one of the few characters of whom it is explicitly said that he did not die. I imagine him to be a perpetually roaming figure here on Earth still, begging for release.

Another account to block as this is a creature that, contrary to the caption, does not appear in nature

Mountain bluebird my ass

I cried hard at the end of the books and could go for one of those again I suppose

I don’t know what the Black Forest is, but it sounds scary and I tip my hat to the brave women and men in there gathering all that ham and gummy bears

Movie pitch: a ragtag group of 90s kids, now grown, embark on an adventure to find a treasure chest rumored to contain an unreleased season of Garbage Pail Kids and like 8 new verses to the "Diarrhea Cha Cha Cha" song.

Eric I’ve been waiting a long time to ask this
“Oh?”
What is a fire and how does it burn?
“Witchcraft.”
What?
“Ariel it’s the 1700’s. It’s always witchcraft.”

charlie brown said he feels ‘cheated’ after lucy promised him she would hold the football in place so he could kick it, only to find himself flipped onto his back in disgrace

Source: “Mobbing behavior of songbirds in response to calls of an ambush-predator, the Northern Pygmy-Owl”
Madeleine Scott Madeleine Scott
, W. Douglas Robinson
Front. Ecol. Evol., 30 January 2023
Sec. Behavioral and Evolutionary Ecology
Volume 11 - 2023

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I keep seeing a bb27 hashtag so I finally clicked on it to see what that means and I actually know even less now