Samantha 🍄✨👑

I need to start shit posting all of my inner thoughts again. It’s getting real crowded in there lmao

Hi. I forgot this app existed. Whoops lmao

Popping back on to show off how hot my husband is. It’s our anniversary & I’m even more in love than I was 8 years ago when we met.

I truly believe I was sent here to humble the fuck out of my 11yo bonus baby lmao

I need my insurance card to show up so I can find a therapist. I can’t keep doing this much longer.

I never know what to title.

I started this blog and as you can tell, I haven't stuck with it. Just like everything in my life. I get a grand idea to start something, hyper-fixate on it for a little while, and then it ends up in the idea graveyard. I lose motivation very quickly and it's the most…

Ashley needs her ass beat. Jacqueline needs to lay the smack down on that girl.

I’m on the last episode of S2 of #RHONJ and truly, if it’s not for the bit/storyline, Danielle’s delusions are literally terrifying. Like girl, everything is filmed. It didn’t happen like that. Also, she very much includes her girls in way too much. They’re not your bffs they’re CHILDREN.

I’ve been feeling real low about myself lately. I feel really beautiful in these so I’m gonna post so everyone can see it too 😊

I love how much Theresa loves her girls & is always doing so much for them, but she definitely shouldn’t have brought those little orangutans on the Italy trip. I love kids but they would overstimulate tf outta me.

#RHONJ

Also, why does she always bring that fucking Danny guy when she’s always meeting up with women??? Is she expecting him to jump in and fight them if shit pops off???

#RHONJ

(I love that I’m literally never on here & then I spam live skeet whatever show I’m watching. lol soz)

As much as I hate Danielle, her hair color is fucking popping sometimes. It’s the red I love that’s super dark & Merlot, but when the sun/light hits it, you can really see the red.

#RHONJ

I’m literally shocked when Danielle comes up with these crazy ass delusions after shit goes down. Like, Queen, you know there’s cameras right????

#RHONJ

I’ve been watching #RHONJ and I wish I would’ve watched this as it was airing.

Also I need SOOOOOOO much help with designing and adding color & stuff. It’s so boring rn and I wanna make it aesthetically pleasing to look at while you read the horrors of my life lmao

I’ve started a Wordpress blog in an attempt to eventually start my book. If I can get a bunch out on this blog, I’m hoping it’ll help shape the book I want to write. We’ll see maybe lol

I also connected this to it, so it should post a link or something when I post there. Fingers crossed.

Monday AND Tuesday the uv index is supposed to be 8. I will be out on my deck frying in the sun ☀️ I can’t wait.

It’s called ✨self care✨ sweetie. Look it up.

I’ll never understand why my body correlates making a phone call/leaving a voicemail with being held at gunpoint. But I’m in straight fight or flight rn

The UV index is gonna be 9 today. I can’t wait to be out there frying like bacon 🥓

I miss my mommy 🥺

My favorite past time is adding things I want to the Amazon cart so eventually Malachi just buys it with whatever he’s getting hehehe

When I die, I want Jonny Craig’s voice to be the last thing I hear.

Why do all the Snapchat filters fuck with my nose??? I have a cute nose. Leave it alone.

I’m going to a communion after party later for Mal’s boss’s twin boys. I have zero idea what I’m gonna wear 🥴🥴🥴

I put makeup on & I don’t feel like a complete sack of shit.

When you’re home alone & your husband sees two men walk up to the door on the camera 😂😭

Y’all I saw Sinners yesterday & let me fucking tell you 😮‍💨 that movie was absolutely amazing.

Your girl is gonna be domestic af tonight & cook pork chops. I’m not a cook by any means, but I want to get better at housewife stuff for Malachi. He does so much all the time so I wanna be able to reciprocate more.