the little bitch that would

the real threat of ~trying that in a small town~ is gossip

the post-function clarity when u realize the person who was SO excited to see you was just on coke

honestly begging for lili reinhart and taissa farmiga to play sisters in literally anything

consider this manifestation bc i need answers

a genie but instead of wishes, it gives you the answer to 3 gossip questions you have

also isn’t naming it a UFO technically identifying it?

in this festive season, please remember:

it is “poinsettia,” not “poinsetta.”

tbh a disney marvel cruise sounds like my own personal version of hell

multitasking by stirring my coffee with my curling iron

it’s just not fair that they can happen in the daytime?? it’s literally right there in the name

i have a deep-seated fear that i just learned my ssn wrong as a kid and have been inadvertently committing fraud for my entire life

especially if you’re going to be so sloppy with your geo targeting that i’m seeing your ads from 1000+ miles away

normalize putting the location of your business in the ig bio, instead of something vague like “west side’s favorite coffee shop”

the candy cane is so so good tho, def worth getting it a lil messy

the problem with the fun laneige lip mask scents is that they’re so pretty i almost hate to use them 😭

oooh i didn’t know that! it’s so weird having to learn a whole new platform…lowkey making me feel like a boomer

i keep seeing the “blocked” thing and i have literally one person blocked

i’m so confused how blocking works on here. like if one person i follow blocks another person, i can’t see any skeets from the second person? is that it?

And another. Excerpt from “For Saundra.”

In honor of Nikki Giovanni passing:

Two hundred and sixty-two words is not a manifesto! It’s barely a blog post! We used to live in a society!

Brat summer turned into Italian sausage winter

when was the last ~normal~ feeling year? 2015?

i didn’t know it had gone up to that much! but even if it was still only $10k—that’s a huge amount of money for a lot of americans, especially at the holidays

Burger King marketing team needs to put out a "We won't snitch on our customers" ad NOW or they're idiots

my neck
my back
my CEO attack

Comanche buffalo hunters and their camp, 1871.

so many patriotic turkeys