Elizabeth

seeing the guy i like's instagram likes is gonna make me commit a crime

it's called being madly in love bc im upset about it

couples costume idea : cicero and the night mother

my dad keeps calling john and hank green "the hank brothers"

propaganda im not falling for:

- hypersexuality during ovulation
- starvation mode
- girls being called "pick me" for liking sports
- sparkling water

me when i see a bee outside: AHHHH ITS A DRONE!!!

i really want a perfume that smells like sunblock

i like to fall asleep to debate podcasts, because the sound of arguing reminds me of home

does gordon ramsay really need that many tv shows?

im like if a teenage boy was a really hot girl

im a feminist until i have to take the trash out at work

i use so many paper towels at work, im scared the lorax is gonna kick my ass

i love the taste of rain water in my coffee

if i saw my 13 year old self i'd happily punch her in the face

a sleeve of saltines is the original girl dinner

i have a severe diet dr pepper addiction that requires significant medical intervention

i am jealous of the relationship men have with sandwiches

wooo thank ya !!

it's the day i was birthed

men be like, "uhhhh, lemme double knot my shoes"

i am very sexist

i don't trust people who enjoy eggs, there has to be something psychologically wrong with you.

"can you explain this gap in your resume?"
"yeah, i tried to move something in the word document and couldn't figure out how to fix it"

what's the difference between a breakfast burrito, and just having a burrito for breakfast?

ultra paradise and ultra fiesta mango are really good, and so are most of the juices

training my cat to be a messenger pigeon

me. too.