Warren Greene

Not. At. All. Bored.

Shocking day at work today. Main (and only) constructive achievement was getting a load of plaque of the dog's teeth

You could cut out the middle man and just throw in the bin. Or cook something properly

Put me right off my tea. Trying to claim Carol’s crown

We’re all just waiting for the Donald to log on aren’t we?

Don’t quote me but I think The Traitors in on tonight

Trump knows that people are listening, right? Does he know people can hear him?

Decent haul in Oxfam then a couple in Balham Bowls Club.

And the beautiful Audiologist said “Are you Martha’s Dad? I was in her class”. Now that made me feel older than the hearing aids

Oh it’s a belter! I missed everything after that though until Sadness Sets Me Free which I love too

The only sensible advice I can give is to avoid the private thing - the cost is mad and the NHS equipment is similar or better. Next door spent £4k on kit and is now jealous of my snazzy gear. Which tells you the demographic of our street

See? Dementia as well. That’s his Dad

Oh the railcard is belting in London. I don’t know how but I got the old ear trumpets pretty quickly - just lucky. Listen to us, we sound like Enrico Chiesa

I’m back in the gym on the bike and will hope to be back on the road in March but I can guarantee there’ll be some sort of physical breakdown before then

Oh the deaf thing is a shocker. Turning it up no longer works - it just sounds flat. Hearing aids have been great with the exception of having to hear fucking cretins

Crikey - good luck with all that. Yes, acid reflux is a horrible. Pina Coladas in front of the gold is the only thing I can suggest

Why? What have you done? My consumption has dropped dramatically so going for quality

Been slaving over a hot stove all afternoon and knocking up some kind of Provençal feast only to find out she’s eaten 3 bags of Discos

Really enjoying Dry January. All the decent booze has massive price cuts in the supermarkets. A bottle of Old Pulteney £23.50!!!

Oh yes - yourself/you is rife. I’ve not recovered from click/clique wars from the last series

Ooh, Hey, Jack Kerouac on Radio 6. Haven’t heard this since my teens.

I had no idea Scott Adams was such a lunatic. I loved Dilbert back in the day

There’s definitely a correlation between how hot people like the office and how stupid they are

I see everyone got a Dry Robe for Christmas. Arseholes.

I’ve just managed to eat a bag of Hula Hoops without the dog noticing. Well, he sussed me out eventually

Missing the match cos I’ve got a Pilates class. My Mum will be spinning in her grave

He looks like Dirk Kuyt (and he’s Dutch). When we have them over I get dead confused

One of my friend’s wife looks exactly like Harry Wilson.