Kit

Tonight I dine on Turtle soup!

My first 4K disc is Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning, because the normal 1080p BD didn't come by itself.

Forget Megatron I see Bisk mashed with a beetle.

Amazing.

I ran the commands and there's been a marked performance increase on my slowly dying low power Laptop. I wish these sorts of 'improvements' were opt in, instead of default & opt out.

Now, how can I disable/remove Cortana?

I pulled out my UW Devs to compare to SS86, I find them different enough to keep both!

Just looked it up, no relation.

ESWAT? Is that an Appleseed spin off? The character could be Briareos?

Almost missed the birth of my 1st born. Labour started at 7am, I went to work (had to do payroll) finished by 10am, at hospital by 11am. Stayed until 6pm when I went to canteen to get chips. Got back just as birth was happening, left my chips on the windowsill. Eventually had them cold hours later.

Buy an automatic security light?

I got those Guile french fries from McDonald's.

Is Ukraine one of the 8 wars he's stopped in 8 months?

Sounds about right.

Little Chef?

I got an email telling me my Ringo account has expired from lack of use. I can't remember when the hell I parked with that, but it'll be 'fun' next time I go there and have to jump through hoops to reactivate the account.

LOL, I haven't seen that in years. Anyway I defeated it using Sarah Bryant (Virtua Fighter). It danced around guessing Nina Williams (Tekken) but nope, didn't get it.

I believe the average GBeebies viewer is more likely to be wrong about... well, everything.

Took me a minute. I slapped my own face when I got it.

I agree, Fuck you.

If this is true, you're a bellend.

kids teacher just sent this home as part of an assignment he's doing and i want to smash every computer at the school

A year ago had an EPC done & assessor said they were obligated to advise cavity wall insulation to improve the rating.

They then said 'now I've said that, DON'T do it because I did & now my house has no end of damp problems' & they proceeded to tell me how & why it had all gone wrong.

Prescient.

Why is it spelt Earth Corps, but pronounced Earth Core? This has confused me since I was a kid.

Oooh nice. I expect I'll get my copy of the Megazine...soon.

At this point I cut off the woman, 'I don't believe a word you said. Whats my name?'
'Tanje'.
'Thats not my name. What's my name? WHAT'S MY NAME?'

*Dial tone*

Yeah, fuck off you scamming bastards.

Well. I just had a call from UK Border Force. They claim a man travelling from China to the UK was apprehended with multiple fake passports, including my own. This man claims that he got my personal details directly from me & that did I know that was an offense?

Or he's about to fund some more flags to go up.

Just call it chocolate pain. It's what I do.

Trump wants to announce Trump Plaza Gaza but his staff are desperately trying to stop him taking the stage.

I will kill your monstah!