Jaypeg

a man speaks to a woman: soo, you're one of them transgenders? she replies “ya, but i'm mostly into mario kart speedruns” then begins a lengthy bombast about mario kart later we see the man at a table with his wife. he says to her: martha, today i met someone whos... different but i'm learning that there's nothing wrong with that

I went onto the "discover" tab for memes and instead saw millennials calling their dogs doggos and that's absolutely not what I wanted

The thing is, you probably will eventually because it was related to routing

"can I just be the full-time meat girl" - @happybythree.bsky.social

#twitch

I don't even wanna go to grad school and I understand this struggle

It's important to pay attention to the grape nuts and not just the grape shaft

still yes on 50 though because I have a functioning nervous system

This is why I do not "have to hand it to Gavin Newsom" when he's doing his weird trump-posting bit

I did it just to feel something and all I feel is Bad

Cool prank idea!!: kiss your friends

[dawn dish soap executive at the podium]
Don't be ridiculous, we don't coat the duckling in crude oil for the commercials, it's a reenactment. We use gasoline

Philomena Cunk

Back when romeo and juliet did their thing, their families were at war for generations. This wouldn't happen today because with the internet you can start arguments with people further away than your mailbox

Gracie the golden retriever, photographed in .6 zoom so she looks cartoony

I just think that she

He's turning 70 and doing this, I'm so proud

I don't know who the fuck has been texting my dad to teach him this but this week he's hit me with OMMGGGGGG and instead of saying yes just sent 💯

Absolutely! Any questions you have I'm happy to help with, and yayyyy thank you for signing up!

Yes, each audition is reviewed by multiple judges! You are not someone's singular opportunity and we have a lot of behind-the-scenes math on how scoring works that keeps things balanced. There's a full rubric that also helps keep things objective where possible

Every time I think about this it feels like some sort of secret but I'm throwing the door open here and telling you it's a great idea (plus the judge discord is fun)

Hey quick PSA if you're looking to attend AGDQ26: Host Judges get their badges comped for the event! And all your work is done ahead of time and you just get to enjoy your week!!

So if you math that out, you're basically attending for free imo

Hey omega planetes what the fuck is your problem

*sage nod* the front lawn of the worst rated local hospital

Put it up what

We just spent 10 minutes considering goblin butt cheeks

Goblin Cleanup is an incredibly fun game, and also I'm really proud of the creators for just putting their goblin kink on kickstarter and making money off it

honey we still have like 68 more hours of mandatory couples therapy to do please answer my calls

Me giving encouragement to hosts during mainline at like 2 am

My parents neighborhood is pretty fancy but personally I think the wildest luxury they have is that you don't take your trash cans to the curb. The garbage truck stops at your house and goes and grabs the cans FOR you