𝔇𝔞𝔫𝔪𝔫𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢

Little known fact: The Nobel committee takes pride in its sense of irony! THAT'S why I have yet to receive a Nobel Prize for my work on Procrastination.

Best. Rapture. Ever.

My improv teacher was trained as Buddhist monk. He always insists: first pun, best pun.

I think of the Walmart in Fairbanks, Alaska.

At the very least!

NYC is a brick oven. Riding the air conditioned subway is turning out to be the highlight of my day.

Employer: Tell me about a time you took a calculated risk.
Me: Well, I sometimes use my phone to surf the web while in the bathtub.

"My glass is 3/8 full." - The Pragmatic Optimist

Your glass is half-empty. And it's dirty. #CataclysmicHoroscopeReader

Reading AI-generated articles feels sleazy. And not in a good way.

Question Authority, Rhetorically

I meant literally figuratively.

Ancient lore is that an early mosquito bite portends a hot summer.

I'm writing an Americanized interpretation of the Legend of King Arthur. No sword stuck in a stone for me! In my work, the prophecy of who will rule the kingdom is tied to who can get the lid off a stuck jar.

I've been in a funk ever since I was passed up to be pope.

Darn conclave took just one day ... I had enough smokin' smoke skeets queued up to keep Bluesky entertained for months!

I just saw thick black smoke billowing out the windows of a nursing home! But then I remembered the protocol: black smoke means "there is no news". So I walked on. #Conclave

Oh no, I just came up with the best Cinco de Mayo post ever! I wonder if I can still post it. As I always say: "It's Cinco de Mayo somewhere."

"Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."

- George Bernard Shaw

Allergies? Down here we call 'em allerJESUS.

As my grandma always used to say: in this country, anyone can grow up to be pope.

Springtime allergies: Death by a thousand sneezes.

Hay fever is nothing to sneeze at!

Impeach early and impeach often.

The proper way to greet someone at a funeral is 'good mourning'.

Spring in NYC

I tried "light up the pogo stick" as a test. It's distressing how Google evolved from connecting people to content produced by other people, to cutting those other people out of the picture entirely. "Don't be evil" used to be Google's tagline.

I'm not qualified to have imposter syndrome.

A friend summed up her astonishment about my allergy to tree pollen: "being allergic to pollen is like being allergic to life".

Breaking: Bluesky users thrilled they will finally have an opportunity to post all their clever new-pope tweets.