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@jeffhelzner.bsky.social

Former academic philosopher. Currently measuring and estimating stuff in the insurance industry. Interested in decision making, uncertainty, and long walks on the beach.

579 Followers  |  219 Following  |  330 Posts  |  Joined: 23.11.2024  |  1.7054

Latest posts by jeffhelzner.bsky.social on Bluesky

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@dol.gov really captured the two Pittsburgh schools of philosophy. On the left, someone who looks like they belong in an engineering department. On the right, someone who works in a faux-gothic tower.

31.08.2025 15:44 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

At Carnegie Mellon, my advisor bet cappuccinos on whether the Pirates would lose by 5+. Lovely tradition. At Columbia, the philosophy dept’s coffee machine was robbed by a non-student in a Che Guevara shirt and septum ring. Perfect metaphor for both places.

30.08.2025 15:39 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

At Carnegie Mellon, my advisor bet cappuccinos on whether the Pirates would lose by 5+. Lovely tradition. At Columbia, the philosophy dept’s coffee machine was robbed by a non-student in a Che Guevara shirt and septum ring. Perfect metaphor for both places.

30.08.2025 15:39 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Maybe it’s time to move the US capital back to New York β€” vastly superior to DC in every way.

11.08.2025 22:49 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I like to keep oranges in the fridge. There’s nothing like a nearly frozen clementine on a hot summer day. Sorry.

04.08.2025 02:26 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Some people are driven by the faintest hope of affirmation. They’re liabilities.

02.08.2025 01:06 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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I live a few blocks from Di Fara.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.

07.08.2025 01:19 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

People who work in areas like academia or journalism might never believe it, but there are entire industries full of well-paid centrists who have no reason to share their opinions on social media and who enjoy spending time with their families.

09.08.2025 00:25 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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I live a few blocks from Di Fara.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.

07.08.2025 01:19 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I like to keep oranges in the fridge. There’s nothing like a nearly frozen clementine on a hot summer day. Sorry.

04.08.2025 02:26 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

great architecture can be very powerful

02.08.2025 03:00 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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For you

02.08.2025 02:56 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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At least it looks pretty tasteful

02.08.2025 02:49 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Honestly wasn’t expecting something as understated as this.

02.08.2025 01:58 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Some people are driven by the faintest hope of affirmation. They’re liabilities.

02.08.2025 01:06 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Doing some mandatory corporate training on innovation, and it includes a TED talk by Dan Ariely. πŸ˜‚

31.07.2025 18:39 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Ask how your academic fanzine could turn into a pitchbot for The New Yorker.

29.07.2025 23:15 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Ask how your academic fanzine could turn into a pitchbot for The New Yorker.

29.07.2025 23:15 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

There’s a certain type of philosopher who obsesses over the subjectivity of prior distributionsβ€”and frankly, it’s embarrassing. Stop it. You sound like you’ve never fit a real model in your life. #notfunatparties

27.07.2025 20:47 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

My parents were supportive of me following my interests, since they had both felt a lot of pressure to become medical doctors. My father, in particular, romanticized academia. I tend to think I would have been a bit better off if they’d pushed me to be more pragmatic.

27.07.2025 20:18 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Social rejection could be beneficial to the right kind of philosopher. I’d lean into that.

26.07.2025 22:09 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Music from speaker:
🎢 Miebo ohh yeah 🎢

Guest: isn’t that the Meibo theme?
Me: ohh yeah
Guest: funny

🎢 Miebo ohh yeah 🎢

Guest: is this going on for longer than normal?
Me: yes, this is an extended version.

Guest: they released it?
Me: no, I had it commissioned.

🎢 Miebo

19.07.2025 03:45 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Do we really have to be this inept, New York? Come on.

23.07.2025 18:38 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

It’s pretty wild how Ozzy, who was portrayed as a total menace when I was a teenager, turned out to be, by most accounts, a genuinely nice guy. I’m going to think about that for a moment the next time I’m criticizing the music my kids listen to.

25.07.2025 02:00 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

It’s pretty wild how Ozzy, who was portrayed as a total menace when I was a teenager, turned out to be, by most accounts, a genuinely nice guy. I’m going to think about that for a moment the next time I’m criticizing the music my kids listen to.

25.07.2025 02:00 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

β€œPrime-ish”

The Curious Case of 57 and the Mind of Grothendieck

25.07.2025 01:22 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

β€œAverage Joe wants to prove things” lol, if only

25.07.2025 00:44 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Yes, many issues here.

25.07.2025 00:42 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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LinkedIn data science is a Black Mirror episode

24.07.2025 23:16 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0
My Favorite Things (Stereo) (2022 Remaster)
YouTube video by John Coltrane - Topic My Favorite Things (Stereo) (2022 Remaster)

If I have to pick, then

youtu.be/JQvc-Gkwhow?...

25.07.2025 00:02 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

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