Denise Warner

I really think Role Model should bring out Catherine O’Hara as the next Sally.

Why can’t the Guardians cheat to win the World Series and not to win a parlay?

Honestly they should do a Copycat sequel now. RIP Dermot Mulroney’s character though.

A proud moment today when the dad behind me at tee ball told his daughter to back up because that kid (meaning mine) hits a ton.

I hate being a Cleveland fan, I mumbled to myself as I put a Guardians tee shirt on my kid for rep your favorite team day.

Me to my almost-five-year-old after I’ve watched The Pitt: Don’t take any pills that aren’t prescribed by a doctor.
My husband, who usually doesn’t indulge in my ridiculousness: Yeah, you don’t want to do that.

Playing The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived for no reason today …

Kid: The Target has a big hole in it!
Me: Yes, yes it does.

Joke’s on me because he now just calls me Denise. 🫠🫠🫠

I feel like every time I get off the bus in Port Authority, I’m at a different entrance and never know where.

Watching Conclave …
Him: Volder-pope or See-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?

And suddenly, I went from mommy to mom. I’m sure soon it will be “bro” or whatever the kids will be saying next.

Are children born knowing how to cheat when playing Candy Land?

RE Christopher Nolan’s Odyssey: has anyone made a joke about people not knowing that O Brother, Where Are Thou? is also based on the Odyssey?

He knows how to ball and knows Aristotle.

Really paying too much attention to use of punctuation and capitalization in If I Ran the Circus since we read it every night and I don’t understand Dr. Seuss’ intentions there.

Husband made the Marcella Hazan tomato sauce with ravioli for dinner and the kid is just shoveling the sauce in his mouth with his hand. I’ll call it a win.

Alyssa Nakken, first full-time female coach in MLB history, leaving Giants to join Guardians Alyssa Nakken, the first woman to coach in an MLB game, is leaving the San Francisco Giants to join the Cleveland Guardians.

Very cool Guardians news.

Dear parents of other kids in our class: Please stop giving out paint in birthday goodie bags. Thanks.

Yeah Stephen Vogt!

The courts DO look weird!!!

I had to ask @warnercorn.bsky.social to explain the NBA cup.

This isn’t pop culture but I don’t like dresses with pockets.

Hello please follow your daughter back. Love you, thanks.

Love it here but I don’t know what to post. Feels like the early days in the other place where I’d just be like “watching Bones tonight.”

Honestly like 12 and 0 is great and I’d love to go 13 and 0, but it’s probably our time.

Good luck tonight!!!!!

Help. If I Ran the Circus is nightly reading and now every time, the kid says he wants a three-nozzled bloozer for Christmas. 🤔🤔🤔

Slightly exasperated trying to get the kid into his car seat, turned around and swore, quietly …
Him: Mommy, I don’t know why you said “fuck” to the car.
🫠🫠🫠

7 years ago Taylor released reputation and I got engaged. A good day.