Firebird

I’m not sure I have any followers right now, but just in case . . . I am uninstalling this app for my mental health right now. My need to stay alive is super-ceding my need to be informed. I’ll be back once I have therapy and meds back under my belt.

I love you. 🥹🥹🥹

It consumes my every thought. Every minute of every day. I crave the oblivion of sleep, but the salve only works when I’m not conscious.

I am so excited. This is a fun hobby. 🖤🖤🖤

How has it already been a year, almost?

How am I still here?

And why?

We are not that goddamn lucky. They’re gonna pull a Squid Game up in this bitch. 🤣🤣🤣

It would be the ultimate proof that there is a benevolent being somewhere in this universe who loves and cares for us. Because while I love You, I’m not sure there are such things as gods anymore. Too many horrible things have happened in the last year. 😭😭😭

Ngl, Mercedes Mone makes me super salty. Willow was robbed, full stop.

Ngl. This was a very big gut punch. I know that it’s basically video game Fight Club . . . but it was a creative outlet and an unparalleled RP tool. I’m a sad potato. 🥺🥺🥺

Happy Birthday, Daddy. I miss you every single day.

The fact that the meds are the only thing holding me together gores me a little bit inside . . . but I hate myself and the world less, and can look for the healers again. I might even have the spoons to be one. That’s something, I think.

Christ 2: Electric Boogaloo

Thank you so much. Things are hard, and I am scared. But I’m going to be okay. 😭😭😭

I’m all right. Trying to take things one step at a time. It’s difficult when your mind decides that you’re done to MAKE the choices to prolong the meatsack . . . but without it, the stories don’t have endings.

That’s probably a sadder fate.

It is poor commentary on our mental healthcare system that those who need help are afraid to ask for it. And they should be. I’m beginning to think that nowhere is safe, really.

This isn’t at all the world I wanted to grow up in, let alone grow old in.

Have the best time and be so safe.

I’m trying so hard. I don’t sleep, I barely eat. I’m scared for my family and my neighbors and my friends.

Thank you for coming to AnimeBlues those years, and for being an absolute joy. You made my Con both times I got to say hi. You’ve a brilliant mind and an even greater, kinder heart. 🖤🖤🖤

I love you. I see you. Be safe.

The storm is so loud I can’t hear the birdsong.

If you started a GoFundMe, I’d throw money at you. 🥹🥹🥹

🙌🙌🙌🙌

I mean, that is *pretty much my life* at this point. I don’t think I get more than five hours’ sleep EXCEPT on the weekends (and usually not then). 🥹🥹🥹

There has to be a point, right? For all this suffering? All this pain, and fear, and regret?

Please someone tell me what it’s all for.

There’s a much longer story about the two lads and their Voidsent, but Ima sit on that one until you get to Heavensward. I don’t think it’s spoilerific, but you can’t be TOO careful. 🥹🥹🥹

BLACK MAGE SOLIDARITY FISTBUMP. 🙌🙌🙌

I’ve got Suzume, a Hingashi glass cannon/runaway heiress; Quinn, an Ishgardian painter (and his Voidsent companion, Erebus); Xihxi, a buxom cattegirl piercer covered in cherry blossoms; Bastian, a half-noble courtesan (and HIS companion, the succubus Luxures); and my street magician Orienne.

I have nine characters in play. You sure you want me to ramble? *I can definitely ramble.* 🤣🤣🤣

And for the love of God, do not let the Cheeto across the Bridge win. Stay free. Stay safe. 😭😭😭

I will always Stan #Soken and the #PRIMALS for the #FFXIV Shadowbringers tracks. That playlist will always be on my rotation.