Alice Lastname

I’m always so surprised that when I eat food and then eat again, the food finish. Like disappears. There’s no more food. It’s gone.

As of today, I will not complain loudly or even quietly.

I will simply seek the blood of my enemy and the tears of their offspring.

Right on time. 🙏🏾

Don’t tempt me with a good time, my “I can do anything” itis been acting up 🧏🏾‍♀️

a woman wearing sunglasses and a white top ALT: a woman wearing sunglasses and a white top

So, I really have to take control of my destiny the entire time ? There’s no autopilot ? No GPS ? I have to come up with everything and then make sure it works ?

I let all of my personalities battle it out and we have a winner. Let’s see how this changes things

Happy New Year 🎊

*screams loudly*

And that last line is spicy on purpose. Just to blur it a little bit. Cuz you can’t tell me what to do

All my life people have been trying to pop my bubble and make me feel bad about being confident in whatever I’m being confident in.

No it’s not luck, it’s not chance, it’s practice & effort.

And yes I’m better than you at it.

Listen once a loser always a loser lol no outgrowing that

Depends on where they using it girl 😂 and technique. It can sting, it can hurt, it can slap

Real.

Woke up this morning and realized I should plan for my third marriage if I’m going to take it seriously as I take myself.

You’re so pretty I’m gonna pretend I didn’t read this tweet

Managing my expectations aka oh ZEEN

Mayor or governor ? I don’t even know how the shit works but I know Ned 🧏🏾‍♀️ never lef him ppl stranded

They know better, my state don’t play like that 😂 when Mayer Ned step out and say rrrrrrrr fix up !

Wake me up January 4

Ear bone connected to your teeth bone and your teeth bone connected to your head bone. 😣 really didn’t think grown ups got ear infections

My PTSD from that other site lmao I didn’t even scroll up

What ???

What ???

11 oclock and ppl still rolling up.

Big upstststh

Happy Thanksgiving !

They’re taking me to play ding dong ditch and I’m going because when was the last time I ran anywhere ?

Keep forgetting I’m supposed to have no domestic talents and a bad attitude 😂

And everybody keeps talking about it ???

It’s almost 4pm and the oxtail nuh start yet … me not even reach yet 😂

After sprinting through the underpass to get to the E tracks, I made it.

I take the wayward A train 2 stops to 14th street where I depart and take the L train.

At which point someone begins howling like a wolf.