Andy Matter

*in heroin-induced frog voice*: “So the alleged girls in that report you’re likely going to promote were actually consenting women, if you think about it…”

When you’re famous for defending both Saudi Arabia and Chris D’Elia…

They just want someone to give them permission to be the pigs they long to be.

The world’s going to hell. Be the neighbor who gives full-sized candy bars this Halloween.

Zach Bryan wants to make music for the commercial where Kylie Jenner gives the ICE goon a bottle of Mountain Dew.

There will one day be a song titled Keep On Cheuglin’, and if I don’t record it, I will fucking hate it.

Peacock owes it to their fans to create a limited series based on the canonical courtship of John Munch’s ex-wife by Lennie Briscoe.

Vincent Battiloro Handled Rejection the Right Way

by Ezra Klein

Has Morgan McGarvey voted to honor the South Carolina arsonist yet?

The more I see establishment acts embarrass themselves performing live now, I’m starting to think chaining yourself to perpetually recreate the same art you created before you could legally drink isn’t, in fact, “making it.”

There is little funnier than tough foreign policy and military talk from someone who blames Jane Fonda for having lost a war.

What’s Bill Burr gonna do when MBS demands he sing that song he sang in the ‘90s about what an asshole he is?

The Hacksaw Comedy Festival in Riyadh is the end result of decades of “But is selling out all THAT bad? I mean, what even IS selling out, anyway?” style of propaganda.

Deer Park Neighborhood - Porchfest Sunday, September 28, 20252:00 PM to 6:00 PM

Watch me on a porch today. www.deerparklouisville.com/porchfest?fb...

There’s footage somewhere of Brendan Carr bombing at an open mic, isn’t there?

Resign while you can at least pretend you have dignity.

I’m just a small town perpetually failing musician holding down an office job and know relatively little about the law, but if I share custody of a child with someone who openly supports a suspected serial child rapist who happened to win the presidency, can’t I get full custody?

Donate Today Be a part of something GOOD! You have until midnight (ET) to donate to the local causes you love during the 12th annual Give for Good Louisville. #GiveForGoodLou

Give that money you’re no longer giving to Disney — you’re not still giving Disney money, are you? — to one of these causes.

www.giveforgoodlouisville.org

Maybe Joy could have thought about that eight years ago when she was earning her MSNBC check kneecapping the only candidate who would have beaten Trump.

It was the purpose of legacy media when you helped Trump win the first time by smearing the candidate who could have beat him. In your defense, though, I’m sure you were paid really well.

“Peace in our time!”

Thanks for nothing, Senator Chamberlain.

@jonathanpienews.bsky.social Just saw your new video where you bravely asserted that both sides are to blame for the fascist getting shot by the fascist. Just wondering, when can we see you on Morning Joe?

I wonder how many people currently attending Bed Bourbon and Beyond— which we can currently hear from our home 10 minutes away — have complained about bars being too loud in the past year?

“This racist is a lot like this old racist.”

And some would dare say the world of political commentary isn’t a meritocracy!

Breonna Taylor was scrutinized by the news media more than Charlie Kirk has been.

“Say what you want about Horst Vessel, but he has an absolute gentleman!”

“Oh, no! Where will we find another loud mouthed, bigoted community college dropout?”

a man with a beard is standing in front of a table holding a cup . Alt: Mass murderer Charles Manson is gesticulating in front of a table holding a cup .

Why are you using violence against Charlie when he was just using his words?