Tyler Jarvis

My application packet for one of the Asst. Professor jobs I’m applying to is 70 pages.

That just feels like too many pages for an initial application.

איתי אנשין שגיאין די אמרין דנה

In 1650 CE, the Bishop James Ussher released a chronology which added up the years in the biblical text to determine the age of the world. He determined that the Earth was created on October 23rd, 4004 BCE.

Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!

Oklahoma Republicans propose all state colleges must have Charlie Kirk statue Schools would be required to build memorial plaza and describe slain activist as civil rights leader or face fines

Also proposed: At the time that you hear the sound of The Stars and Stripes Forever, you will fall down and worship the statue. Anyone who does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a furnace of blazing fire.

Idk, I've got a pretty sweet tap routine that really captures the Song of the Sea the way it was meant to be experienced.

I also do Hebrew Bible, Dead Sea Scrolls, Aramaic dialects, and competitive tap dance.

(One of those is pure CV padding, but I won’t say which one)

Any non-US schools hiring a Jewish studies scholar who specializes in the Achaemenid diaspora and its echoes in the Hellenistic and Roman periods? Asking for a me.

They’re really gonna make me root for Jimmy Kimmel.

Hebrew phrase rendered in English as “whither thou goest, I will go”

Hebrew Textbook glossing a phrase in the most archaic way possible. I think the gloss needs a gloss.

If a university near the woods would hire me, this is my whole life’s ambition.

TruthSocial post with an AI generated image of Donald Trump overseeing a helicopter assault on the city of Chicago. The text reads “I love the smell of deportations in the morning… Chicago about to find out why it’s called the Department of WAR 🚁🚁🚁”

The president of the United States just threatened to go to war against one of his own cities.

As usual, nobody will do anything about this.

Screen shot of the NYT crossword games page showing a 999-day crossword completion streak.

About to hit a milestone in my nerdiest hobby. @nytimes.com

Just received word my first article has been accepted for publication!

Coming soon to a Vetus Testamentum near you: “Becoming Jews? Literary Reversal and Identity Expansion in Esther 8:17.”

Thank you!

Submitted an article today. I feel relieved to get it out there and off my plate. Now to not think about it for 2-12 months.

I'm really annoyed that this journal wants me to pay $42 to access a 2-page article published in 1915.

The US is operating a concentration camp. The president is using the military to occupy cities with political dissidents. The Defense Secretary believes women shouldn’t have the right to vote.

The United States is not on a path towards fascism. We’re neck deep in it.

a man in a blue shirt and tie is pointing at a board with papers on it . ALT: a man in a blue shirt and tie is pointing at a board with papers on it .

In that phase of writing where I can’t tell if I’m on to something or just on something.

Trump takes over DC police in extraordinary move, deploys National Guard in capital — Reuters U.S. President Donald Trump said on Monday he was deploying 800 National Guard troops to Washington and temporarily taking over the city's police department, an extraordinary assertion of presidential...

I’m so sick of the sanewashing. “Extraordinary move” is such a weak-ass description of the dramatic erosion of democratic norms.
This is an authoritarian move. It’s a fascist move. It’s a naked power grab by a wannabe dictator. Call this what it is and stop being complicit. @reuters.com

the intensity of my anger at those who would criminalize the homeless — a population literally created by the greed and callousness of the ruling class — is very hard to contain. it was you who dismantled the safety net. if you don’t like the results, put it back

Meme format depicting Milton Waddams from the movie Office Space. Text reads: “I was told there would be checks and balances”

So uh… how many cities is Trump going to have to claim jurisdiction over before the media starts calling him a fascist. Cause I thought one should have been plenty.

The monotheism/polytheism labels don't actually tell us anything about how a group functioned, religiously. Each term carries assumptions that, when applied to any particular individual or community (particularly in the ancient world), confuses more than it explains.

I see this particularly at Elephantine. Some scholars point to oaths to Sati or gifts to Eshem-Bethel as markers of polytheism, but rarely ask how deeply these deities were actually integrated into the Jewish cultural sphere. Would anyone in this community recognize these actions as "polytheistic?"

The more I research ancient Judaism, the less convinced I am that "monotheism" and "polytheism" are useful categories for understanding the development of Jewish thought and practice.

My first Ellul was The Subversion of Christianity in undergrad, and it was great. But I only ever read it and Anarchy and Christianity, so there may be better on ramps that I'm just not familiar with.

Don’t mind me, I’m just listening to Tim Minchin’s “If This Plane Goes Down” while experiencing significant turbulence somewhere over the Caribbean.

I’m really annoyed that em-dashes are considered a sign of AI. They just make for much cleaner sentences. It’s not my fault most people never learned how to use them and think it’s only something a robot would do.

a man with long hair and a beard is tired Alt: A scene from the movie Forrest Gump, in which Forrest, who has been running across the country, turns to the people following him and says "I'm pretty tired... I think I'll go home now"

In the last 8 days, I've written 45 pages on my dissertation. I'm exhausted.

(They're not necessarily *good* pages, but, hey, a draft is a draft)

Our ASOR proposal got accepted, so now me and my colleagues get to go to Boston in November to talk about a Palmyrene Aramaic forgery at the LA County Museum of Art.