Becca

Two commemorative magazines, one for Hello Kitty, the other for Pope Francis

Sucks they never got to collab

Imagine being 65 years old and giving your coworker the silent treatment

Hey, is it possible I can replace my car horn with the sound of a gunshot?

My ex lives here

I’m one more shitty headline away from smoking cigarettes again

I gave a little gray alien some baja blast and a xanax and he's been break dancing for 5 hours straight

My annual tradition of buying lots of my favorite snacks for a big Super Bowl party and then "accidentally" forgetting to invite anyone over.

Let’s all be grateful we’re not eating beans on toast for breakfast

Thank god for the American Revolution

Do u ever
-think of what to do next
-get distracted by phone
-forget
-remember
-phone
-forget
And suddenly it’s almost time for dinner?

My kink is literally dying

Immediate deep sleep, lol

Or deeper sleep 😴

I reached into my bottle of melatonin to grab a pill and I somehow got powder on my fingers and I’m wondering what would happen if I snorted it.

Yooo thanks for the heads up! So excited!

Same, but thinking about cheesy fiesta potatoes from Taco Bell.

I saw the other comments that you had your snack! Yay, glad you had one 🫶

stop asking me if i’m 'ok.' i’m not 'ok.' i’m better than ok. i’m eatimg shit out of my fridge in my undies

I don’t know what the bigger red flag was: him raw dogging ramen right out of the package or the fact that he was an alcoholic.

Is there a historical fiction novel about Groundhog Day? I feel like that would be so strange to read. Send me recs.

Literally leaned into my ground beef to see if it was making a siren sound.

I just heard police sirens and my first instinct was that it’s the ground beef I’m cooking on the stove

I feel like i shld go get a burger before the country swiftly collapses

Someone once told me I “laugh backwards” and I’ve been thinking about it for 9 years. Thanks Ian.

I called twice about my car’s repairs within 48 hours, texted once, and the advisor didn’t answer me and never returned my calls. I’m worried I was too clingy and scared him off.

My car is currently in the shop...

Having my car and staying in: relaxing, cost efficient, cozy

Not having my car and staying in: paranoia, stir crazy, unease

I finished reading the saddest story ever and it ended with the recipe that I was initially looking for.