Your reporting on Trump was cowardly. You let this happen. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

I wonder if the Vikings knew by fucking around with England they would end up losing their gods if they would still do it

I talk like that with no excuse. It adds gravity to every situation 😊

My favorite part of the day is when I get to eat my vitamin gummies

Get it stud!

I used to never get shrimp burritos from Beto’s then I stopped fearing death

Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is that my PI once told me I remind me of him when he was younger and most times that’s enough

Yeah, sex is cool but have you ever hit such a beautiful backhand drive to win the point that a spectator cheered for you?

This is beautiful

My partner nicknamed me Shai-Hulud because she “likes riding that big worm”

It’s bananas that my insomnia is so shitty I can double up on my sedatives and not feel an ounce of sleepy. Did I say bananas? I meant bullshit

Creature Commandos on Max is surprisingly excellent

I have a fantasy where I own my own detective agency in a small office (me and one receptionist) and get to wear a dog eared old coat and drink at all hours of the day and night

I think I’ll cry about my decaying body and the passage of time now

What’s the flavor of the night tonight pappi?

I’m going to try tackling a 1st authorship next academic year

I’m an author on an abstract being submitted to ISPOR and I am ECSTATIC

I fucking hate finals week

I whisper “oil rig. oxidation is loss, reduction is gain.” way too often for a dude in a dual doctorate program

Gonna start a petition to replace the word function with f(x)

Thinking about Her (the scientist in Robocop who looks like Parker Posey)

I was floating baby names to my partner and suggested the name Horatio after Vice-Admiral Horatio Nelson. Long story short I can never use the name of one of the greatest naval commanders of all time because it rhymes with fellatio

I know I’m having a fucked time in grad school because I count down to graduation not by years, but by semesters.

It is with you on it

I should change my handle to Da Vinci because I can procrastinate so fucking hard it’s an art form

Time well spent

God damn have I missed the void. I can be as insane as I want here and that has made me elated