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j. shocker esquire

@crabkimpton.bsky.social

LOL Cracked my pants!!

19 Followers  |  124 Following  |  61 Posts  |  Joined: 02.01.2024  |  1.6594

Latest posts by crabkimpton.bsky.social on Bluesky

it's been 10 years are you guys still salty about this

05.02.2026 04:50 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Apparently Iron Lung is good? I hope Markiplier becomes an acclaimed filmmaker so all his lets plays will be retitled "featuring horror visionary Mark Fischbach."

02.02.2026 04:03 β€” πŸ‘ 141    πŸ” 14    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0

world of warcraft sexual dimorphism

16.01.2026 00:25 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Airbnb owners across the world are adding clauses to their contracts that say guests aren't allowed to play Sburb during their stay

26.12.2025 23:31 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

in france. while eating lunch, saw a guy setting up for a street performance. he removes his coat to reveal he's dressed like a magician, and then gets on a box and pulls out a big fushigi ball. when he does this all pigeons in a hundred meter radius get scared and fly away

25.12.2025 14:19 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Hero shooters need more pregnant characters

09.12.2025 04:02 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

stranger things genwunners

24.11.2025 05:23 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Would I be allowed to put in my will that I want my body fed through a woodchipper at my funeral

03.11.2025 00:58 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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boring ass movie wish i was playing sonic unleashed on xbox 360 instead

08.10.2025 20:45 β€” πŸ‘ 279    πŸ” 53    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 2

naval captain coach z telling his crew to barton darn the hartches

27.09.2025 00:46 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

nuclear bomb launched into enemy city by medieval trebuchet

25.09.2025 19:06 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?"

BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao"

1. "It, um, doesn't say anything."

2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe."

3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

12.09.2025 23:38 β€” πŸ‘ 19508    πŸ” 6086    πŸ’¬ 88    πŸ“Œ 77

Jimmy Neutron was a powerful technomancer

10.09.2025 01:38 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

had a dream about a cutesy furry comic in which a crocodile mom is asked by her daughter if she can buy a binder and the mom says yes and the camera pushes in on her while she talks about how she supports her trans son but when it pulls back out the kid has eaten the binder

09.09.2025 16:34 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

more like epic crap battles of pisstory

01.09.2025 06:18 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

guy trying way too hard to make "I put the peas on the PLATE!" a saying

15.08.2025 22:59 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I'm tired of people pretending that Homestuck is a difficult concept to grasp. It's about a group of kids fighting an invasion of evil toilets with singing heads inside them.

09.08.2025 22:42 β€” πŸ‘ 181    πŸ” 50    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 2

i'll give them this, i'm sure vivziepop could write karkat pretty accurately

09.08.2025 22:10 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

cheddar cheese tastes like if you could eat crayolas

09.08.2025 06:29 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Larry David is Chinese. Prove me wrong

25.07.2025 02:10 β€” πŸ‘ 40    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

the ding dang swjs have gone TOO FAR this time.... word is on the street that the king of the hill reboot made kahn asian

23.07.2025 02:43 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a bed . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a bed .
22.07.2025 16:03 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

woke up this morning with a 21 pilots song stuck in my head. what did I do to deserve this?

22.07.2025 15:05 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Using racism stone on Eevee and it turns into Jontreon

16.07.2025 16:25 β€” πŸ‘ 6137    πŸ” 1184    πŸ’¬ 88    πŸ“Œ 29

i guess you'll have to stand then

08.07.2025 20:22 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

this is how teleporters work

05.07.2025 15:30 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

watched xmen 97. why did they give professor x such fuckable lips

26.06.2025 03:10 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

you know damn well I'm not talking to you brand get the fuck away from me

07.06.2025 07:36 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

that deadpool vr game looks so dogwater i half expected to see justin roiland's name in the trailer somewhere

06.06.2025 23:05 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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youtube search results in 2025 are something else man

31.05.2025 05:07 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

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