Warren

🫩

"I'm not a piece a shit, I'm Christian!"

As someone who immediately adopted the Jeb Bush "please clap" tag to my linguistic toolbox, I don't appreciate these Johnny come latelys using it now ten years later.

You're either too late or too young. This is mine. Mine!

Um, please DON'T clap.

Iron Man more like Fe Male please clap

(derogatory)

I actually read it with the"he" in there. Don't worry, buddy. We're all dopes.

Bad news for YouTube. When those ads start rolling, my eyes are locked in on the tiny spot where "skip" is about to appear. I ain't absorbing shit.

Turns out, I'm PAYING for this shit!

Good. Keep that mf on a golf course for the remainder of his term.

I could be mistaken, but the person next to me on the flight I just boarded may be traveling with lungs in her carry on

Someone drive Trump's fat ass to the golf course tomorrow so we can avoid another destabilizing geopolitical event, for the love of christ

I... will? 🧐

I'm personally looking to get creeved out wholly so would appreciate a follow up

How odd is it that holmes pulls up in a taxi? When security drives him up to the house, the cars up there are all limos and luxury vehicles.

The good doctor goes all out to get the right outfit, yet steps on a landmine as soon as he arrives on site.

So good.

Eyes Wide Shut is hilarious. Mostly because Tom Cruise's Bill is a naive dumbass.

Favorite bit is when he arrives at the secret society sex party in a fukin CAB and gets immediately caught.

He pulls up, has a convo with the driver, and security is staring at them the entire time, center frame. 😆😆😆

Actually not surprising in the least, given the current executive branch situation.

[saved to playlist]

YouTube video by Mississippi Hip Hop C-Murder - Akickdoe! (ft. Bun B, Master P, Pimp C)

Even before his downfall, Puff Daddy was the worst feature possible on a track, primarily for his always terrible backing vocals.

That said, Master P gives him a run for his money. What is Percy doing here?! 😭

Sir, that's 6 things. Congratulations on your promotion.

Used machine learning to train my AI assistant to call my wife and daughter every time either says "I'm hungry" and respond "hi, hungry, I'm dad."

In the dystopian AI future, I'll be paid to train AIs to be funny like this. No one can make the robots funnier than me. I'll be paid billions.

Imagine being Egyptian 10,000 years ago and honestly believing you CAN take it with you when you go.

But, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm afraid this pile of mummified cat bodies proves that is not the case.

Blue Ruin from the same director also a big time recommendation

Just got off the phone with my financial advisor. Told him to bump up my retirement a full six minutes.

Market investment returns since Nov 5, 2024 (date picked completely at random lololol):

1.09%

Man, those friends and acquaintances who told me a certain level of insanity would be worth making a clearly terrible choice were right. This is totally worth it! 🤑🤑🤑

The scores of people who told me they were willing to look past all the trump bs because it's "better for the economy" are down so incredibly bad.

They don't seem to FEEL bad though. Interesting!

Okay but what if this is a damaging action?

A favorite rarely discussed distinct vocalist you love I'll go first Christine McVie

no, not mike 😩

What an alpha.