kels 🇨🇦🏳️‍🌈🍃

Ew. Sounds like you dodged bullets like Neo. Fuck that.

It kills me because literally anyone with half a brain can see the underlying theme in that book.

“Here is a handy guide that makes it so that my wife must please me sexually twice a day because my love language is physical touch I guess. Also acts of service CLEAN MY HOUSE”

Like. Come on.

Aaaaand we’ve landed square on the point. The only thing it converts is living kids to dead ones.

We know. And more importantly, they know. That’s why they love it.

Gay kids dead? Best outcome.

Are we done pretending it was ever about anything else?

Fake news not real heard it on Fox

On the phenomenon of “Chronic Cassandras:” tinyurl.com/y27v99kv

late night video kels content to entertain the Australians and shit on the Americans, as is my sacred duty 🫡

(P.S. despite the jokey tone there is actually a great video on this phenomenon and it’s SO WORTH WATCHING and I will link it in the comment below!! Pls watch thx)

Log off for a few days and feel the sun on your face. Hug your people, go for walks, eat good food.

Shit is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better. And part of rising up to fight is giving everyone time to rest so they can come back.

Protect yourself friend 🫂

lol "why should I care about Black people?" because not caring about us is how we got here. 🤷🏿‍♀️

Can’t help feeling like they know that full well and that’s the point

Oh god, you’re strong. I’ve been caffeine free since 2020 and the first few months I nearly killed a man every day

No caffeine, no soda, low alcohol, low weed, I am having NO FUN HERE FLISS

Spreadsheets are just… confused. No discernable patterns I’ve found yet, but LOTS of data to sort through so I’m not surprised by that

Hopefully I can find something. This is a weird one.

Things have broken. Everywhere. I think it’s bots. I think it’s a biiiiig disinformation effort. You’re not crazy.

Soft drinks, beer, and my CUNT OF AN EX IS RIGHT

So Dolly Parton’s gonna die, and the United States is about to fall into civil war.

Should be a fun few months for everyone. Find your people. Don’t be a dick. And whatever you do, don’t drag the rest of us down to hell with you.

We tried to yell and scream and help, y’all did it anyway. Cheers.

Everything in moderation! Except the mini muffins

Me: eats heart healthy leafy greens

Also me: eats 24 mini muffins

Kels: My clothes are now literal clown clothes Unknown: Lol just losing weight? Kels: No, I received a tiny little genie and clown pants were my first wish

What the fuck 😭 no seriously send help I have zero clothes to wear

I can’t tell if this is a really funny skeet or if you genuinely don’t know

“You’ve been robbed of your empathy” nah bitch you extended the bounds of my empathy, there’s a difference and you damn well know it.

A yellow playground slide of death that literally ends right at a busy road. There is no fence.

Albertan gov: We are stripping away women’s rights because we CARE ABOUT THE CHILDREN

Also the Albertan gov:

Making friends with the neighbourhood pub is all fun and games when they give you free beer.

It is not all fun and games when their whole staff calls in sick and they ask if you can stop by and pour pints 🥲

EVERYTHING IS FAKE KIDS

do you think that maybe none of them can actually pronounce “acetaminophen” & it just sounded close enough to “autism” to them that they just decided to go with it?

There's a distinct pattern to the legislation Carney's government keeps tabling.

1) Vague language that leaves a lot to discretion
2) Replacing warrants, court orders, and evidence for 'suspicion'
3) Increased federal power & surveillance
4) Stifle debate.

All of this should concern you.

One thing I have learned in the last few years is that so many people in your life are shitty human beings.

Morally bankrupt, garbage human beings.

Stick to what you know is right. They’ll try and gaslight you into joining them on the wrong side of history.

Don’t let them.

And I couldn’t care less, because I have always, always, ALWAYS been years ahead in recognizing this shit. I don’t have to doubt myself anymore, I have lifetimes of evidence to show what I know to be true.

I’ll see y’all in five years when you realize I was right from the start.

And start again.

One thing you gotta know about me is that I have no problem being hated, because I know I’m always right.

Everyone comes back around to apologize, years after I made enemies for being me.

Happened with family, happened with Americans, happening with this shit now. I’m right, you’re mad.

Pattern.

“Why are you so bitter?”

Well first off, I’m not, I’m a delight. You just caught my pissy side because you were being a pissy little bitch.

And second off, it’s to balance out the sweetness of your mom’s cuuuuunt 👅

Does anyone ever reach out to you for comment on something that (apparently) is affecting you and you’re just like 🤨

I didn’t even know this was supposed to be a thing? I’m clearly not miffed? Lmao

Like thanks for asking but I’m good man. Wasn’t even aware there was a thing to be affected by.

important ‼️