Spina Spinetta

"You know, I'm really tired of this whole fancy Renaissance Medici guardsman. Let's do 1940's train conductor instead."

The rage I feel in my soul when people suggest we sit outside on the grass.
On the grass? Where dogs pee? And no back support?
You know, we invented chairs and the inside for a reason

I've been feeling extra tall lately, and then I remembered that I just started wearing new glasses. So it's not that I've grown, it's that my brain has to adapt to this new vision of the world. And if that isn't an apt description of what it's like to be an adult sometimes, I don't know what it is

Ha

I both desperately want and know I should never have access to unlimited t-shirt screen printing capabilities

I was wrong. This was not a good idea.
Learn from my mistakes

Every time I see a video or commercial that ends with the phrase, "Talk with your doctor to learn more":
Wow, bold of you to assume that in the year of our lord 2025, I, an adult American, have access to a doctor

Thank you! Probably will finish it off in the loop and give it to a friend as a gift!

Made this 3d embroidery!

🤣🤣🤣

That's a good one! They also implant tiny microchips in our skin that make us visible from space. Why? For the space lizard people who float around up there, obviously

Still wondering why no one has yet claimed mosquitoes as a plot by the Deep State. Now that's a conspiracy theory I could really get behind.

Dreaming of a situation where I can have at least three of my crushes in the same room at the same time for maximum emotional turmoil / sitcom hijinks

So stressed out that I just rage ate my sandwich and now sad because my sandwich is already gone and I barely enjoyed it

How many non-actionable emotional support crushes is it okay to have at the same time? Five? Is five too many?

Freakazoid, my first love

Went to the Museum of Flight today and absolutely devastated.
There wasn't a single Wonkavator anywhere

Ah yes, nothing like waking up to the burning ozone smell of a Tesla dumpsters' worth of horrendous Supreme Court decisions

Every other tech company: Returning this old equipment that we're definitely just going to throw away? No worries, I'll just scan it and put it on this shelf here
Xfinity: We'll need your birthday and maiden name and for you to wait at least 30 minutes and then someone will be with you eventually

It really would be too bad if people started spraying quick cure sealant in their car locks and wheel bases. Because that dries quickly and very hard and would make it impossible to drive.
Definitely a crime, do NOT do it
So DON'T disable their cars with a product that costs $8 a bottle

Say it with me:
THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT FEDERAL OFFICERS. THEY ARE REGIME SPONSORED KIDNAPPERS

Made a little something today

Hi, this is Meg Barnette, Brad's wife.

While escorting a defendant out of immigration court at 26 Federal Plaza, Brad was taken by masked agents and detained by ICE.

This is still developing, and our team is monitoring the situation closely.

Restaurant sign saying, "New Year Special: Wanton Soup"

Easter special, whorish egg sandwiches

If they were real officers they couldn't be run off like this. They are criminals who are breaking the law and kidnapping people.

Trolling on the level of "Do you hear the people sing"

Protestor with sign saying "Grab him by the Posse Comitatus"

Hey WaPo writers-- that burning, churning, boiling feeling you have in your gut all the time, that feeling that just keeps getting worse with every passing day? It's called guilt.
I know, for you to have gotten this far, it must be pretty new. But you can make it go away.
By writing the truth.

Protest in Seattle - 70,000 people, 100% peaceful. People handing out water, snacks, sunscreen, supporting one another. Guy tripped and hurt himself, within seconds he was being given emergency aid by several nurses in scrubs. Organized and positive.
Did I mention there were no cops?