Captain Qwark

Presidents Memo: Hmmpghhh hmmphphgg ghgghhmmm phohhhmhmmmmmmmm wowee mama that’s caliente

@megacorpofficial.bsky.social where my damn pension, you old hack?!

Good Afternoon, my adoring Citizens. How can President Qwark help you today?

Huh, I hadn’t considered using live bait before. Thanks for volunteering!

So in the meantime, I got us a great deal to set up a new training course on the planet Orxon! Watch this space, cadets!

Greetings Cadets! After a surprise visit from the Solana Safety Bureau, my training course on Umbris will be undergoing some changes because apparently it’s a “death trap” and “wantonly violating several laws”

Why wasn’t I in this one?

I had a lot of realisations about you after meeting Skrunch’s sister! Woah Nelly! 🥵

The Galaxy’s SADDEST president

It’s not my fault! I only adopted them because I thought it would look good for my re-election campaign! Citizens love old people. Now what am
I going to do? Oh they’ll never vote for me now

Help?! Anyone?!! I lost Nevo Binklemeyer somewhere on luminopolis! I swear, you look away for 2 seconds and *poof*

Everyone is talking about this new show girl album? Not for me thanks, I’ll still to listening to “Oops, I Got Vaporized By A Level 7 Shock Blaster!” By Courtney Gears

And tell Captain Quantum I said hi, and ask him to call me back!

Not as cool as you Rivet!

Qwark says! Be bub

Be bub

The dentist says I have to get one big brace and

Hahaha, Steve McQwark….indeed!

Couldn’t have said it better myself!

Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone, just shouting QWARK into the wind

COPERNICUS LESLIE QWARK!

QWARK!

QWARK!

I’m going to have you scrapped for parts you little bucket of bolts

Woah?! You and Sasha broke up? Is this because of the hydrogirl thing? I’ve been there pal, and lemme tell you, women are fickle creatures, like the horny toads of Veldin

Sometimes I think people forget I was once a competent villain

Of course champ, you just need to eat your Qwarkios to grow up big and strong like me. Remember, there’s a collectible Qwark trading card in every box!

Don’t be ridiculous, he couldn’t be a day over 14. You should know, you’re what…8?

. @grindrailgroove.bsky.social I’ve been talking with Nevo and Frumpus, I didn’t know you couldn’t speak English. I’d be happy to enrol you at this orphanage I’ve been sponsoring to help get you there

Maybe when you’re full grown, we’ll have Al gives you the old Blarg and the Bees chat